You can’t always get what you want
by mychakk
Summary: What if Stacy wasn’t the only one who was married? The title explains it all. A 5 parts story. Somewhat AU more like "What if..." story
1. Stacy

**Title:**_You can't always get what you want  
_**Pairings**: You'll have to read to find out ;P  
**Genre**: Drama/Angst  
**Warnings**: Somewhat AU (more like "What if..." story)  
**Rating**: PG-13  
**Chapter**: 1/5  
**Word****Count**: 4058  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own House M.D. nor the characters.  
**Summary**: What if Stacy wasn't the only one who was married? The title explains it all. A 5 parts story.

_A/N__: This will be a first, you can say a set up story, for a series I'm planning to write. Hopefully, you'll like it. _

xxx

Chapter one - Stacy

xxx

_Finally_. She sighed, eyeing the high building in front of her. _The Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital in New Jersey._ She hasn't been in this hospital for years. Five years exactly. She sighed again, partly because of the weariness she suddenly felt, partly because of the anticipation. True, it was Mark who needed the best doctor in the States, but she herself needed to see _him_ even more. She felt her heart flutter as if recognizing the said doctor being near her and felt a pang of guilt, thinking of her husband condition and how she used it to finally see _him. _And _he_ was here, she could tell.

It wasn't hard to find him. And she shouldn't have been surprised. Really, she should have known better. _He_ never liked changes that much. _And even if he was not here, I would be able to find him anyway_ she mused_ after all he was one of the most famous doctors in whole States. _

She wondered if _he_ had changed. Did _he_ gained some weight or did _he_ get even thinner (but still proportionally built)? Has his hair got greyer? Is _he_ still as sarcastic as she remembered him to be? So many questions in her head. The one that floated currently in her head was _Will he be happy to see me?_ It was so long. Five years without completely seeing _him_. She was mad to leave _him_ in the first place. She should have never done it. But hopefully she'll be able to get _him _into her life again. She sighed and thinking for the hundredth time that she had missed _him_. _His_ smarty comments, sarcastic sense of humor, _his_ big beautiful blue eyes.…

She got out from her car and headed across the parking-lot toward the main entrance. She could feel the anticipation settle in her stomach and she forced herself to not act all giddy. It was not like her. Yet, she wasn't surprised. She had thought a lot about _him_ lately. Remembered _him_, recalled all the time spent together. Realized how much she has missed _him_…

She crossed the entrance and headed to the reception desk. There were patients waiting in the clinic to the right and she wondered if _he_ was still avoiding his duties. _He_ used to avoid his clinic duty a lot before the infarction.

"Can I help you?" asked a nurse whose name tag said Brenda Anderson.

"Yes, I'd like to see doctor House." She spoke, smiling at the nurse. The young woman frowned at the name, as if she disapproved of said doctor, yet despite this, if one looked closely they could see the strange combination of affection and aggravation in the nurse's eyes. She smiled to herself. _Looks like _he_ still had this effect on others._ The nurse checked the computer and sighed.

"He should be starting his clinic duty in fifteen minutes. If you'll just wait for him over there-" she pointed to the waiting room with some chairs and a table "then you should catch him in a bit."

"Thank you" she said and went to the nearest chair that was facing the whole corridor. She didn't want to miss seeing him when he'll be passing by.

She looked to the right and her heart sank a little. Form this angle she could see Lisa Cuddy in the Dean's Office. She was clearly debating with someone and it looked like she got the upper hand. She felt a pang of guilt as she realized she had not only ignored _him_ but hasn't called her other friends in those five years either. Neither had she kept in touch with Wilson. After her decision about leaving was made she just cut herself off of any contacts with this part of her life. But now she wanted it back. Even if just a small part of it was all she was going to get, she wanted it back. She just hoped it would be possible.

"Dr House! There is a patient." She heard the nurse saying, as a door was opened and she finally saw _him_. He was tall and lanky (just like she had remembered him) with his permanent stubble she disliked (but accepted). And he was limping using his cane (she felt a pang of guilt at the sight), his movements were graceful and deliberate.

"I'm outta here, take it up with Cuddy." He said never looking at the nurse and heading to the Clinic. She felt her face smiling and she called.

"Greg." He turned toward her, a shocked look on his face. She took a few steps shortening the distance between them, and felt her face smile involuntary at his sight. The hard beating of her heart will surely put her into cardiac arrest. He was watching her with solemn look on his face, yet she didn't allow herself to analyze it. He was here, standing in front of her in his whole glory. And that's what mattered at the moment.

"Hi Stacy." he said, and oh, how she missed his voice. It still could make her shiver and tingle in all right places.

"How're you doing?" she asked trying to take as much of him as possible with just one look. He looked good. Rested, despite the addiction of some wrinkles around his mouth, eyes and forehead. And it looked as if he had been smiling more during the past five years.

"How am I doing?" he repeated looking away, then exhaled and looked back at her "Well, the last five years have been like… you ever see those "Girls Gone Wild" videos?" he asked suddenly interrupting his previous sentence. _Always hiding his true feelings._ It was so much like him to do so that she opened her mouth to shot back, even before she registered what she was doing. It was such a natural response to him.

"Your life's been like that, or your life's been spent watching them?"

He smiled at her and she couldn't help but return it. In this very moment she realized even more how much she has _lost_ with her leaving all those years ago. She cursed again her decision. Her feelings were taking the better of her in this moment. The ferocity of them was clouding her wit as she came closer to him, her eyes searching his face for any kind of emotion.

"I missed you" she blurted suddenly, but didn't allow herself to feel embarrassed. He looked away at her admission and she felt a cold dread sipping into her stomach. She squashed it quickly, still hoping, against the reason, for some positive reaction from him.

He opened his mouth to say something only to turn his head to the left where light footsteps could be heard heading toward them, followed by heavier ones.

"Mike! Mikey! Get back here! You know you shouldn't disturb your parents! They are working!"

A small boy of no more then four years was running toward them as fast as his small legs allowed him to. The voice belonged to young nurse following him with dreadful look on her face. The boy was clutching a toy stethoscope in his right hand and a small toy syringe in his right. His dark curly hair was bouncing around his angelic face. As he got closer, Stacy noticed his strikingly blue eyes and gasped-

"Daddy!" the child attached himself to House's left leg and looked up at him adoringly. "Daddy! You pwomised you pway with me!" he whined.

xxx

_You could see Lisa Cuddy coming out of his room. He had been awakened from the induced coma mere minute ago, yet you couldn't find the courage to face him. You let Lisa be the one to wake him, to get the first lashing of his anger at the decision you had made. You are just t__oo scared to face the music. You are such a coward._

_Lisa's face is pale as she comes to you. Her whole being screaming weariness. You realize she is as much affected by this whole situation as you are. But she's so much better then you. She takes to the responsibility of taking care of him. You are just too afraid. Lisa is so much better then you…_

"_How is he?" you ask as she comes to you. _

"_Physically or emotionally?" she snaps accusingly, and you feel yourself flinch at her tone. She really didn't want to go against his wishes, but subdued to you. Her desire to save him was as strong as yours._

_A guilty look crosses her face at the sight of you flinching, and she continues quickly and apologetically. "He's extremely angry, like we had predicted." She sighs tiredly and you think you heard a pain in her voice. "And he asked for another doctor."_

"_He didn't!" you gasp offended at her expanse "you're the best doctor in this hospital right after him! And you're his friend."_

"_Not anymore, it seems" she shots back "Excuse me" she sidesteps you and heads toward the bathroom, probably to collect herself. You watch her worried. Her shoulders are slouched and it all seems so wrong. You look back at the door leading to his room. Your whole being is filled with dread and not-a-small amount of guilt. You don't realize it now, but the decision of leaving him is already made subconsciously inside you. You push the door to his room bracing yourself for the lashing you'll get with no doubt. _

"_You had no right!" he speaks before you even close the door. His accusation stabs right through your heart. _

"_We tried to save your life" you try weakly to defend yourself. You don't feel as guilty as you should for trying to push (if only a small) part of your decision about this operation to her shoulders._

"_Don't give me this crap!" he says, stinging venom in his tone. "And don't try to bring Cuddy into this! It was your call not hers. And she would have never violated my wishes!" he nearly screams, his voice still croaky form the lack of use. _

_You flinch at fact he's seen right through your scheme, yet you can't help the small voice in your head pointing out that he's (despite his anger at the both of you), defending her. Again. You feel your eyes water at the disappointment and betrayal you can clearly see in his eyes and voice._

"_I just-"_

"_Get out. Get out! I don't want to see you anymore." He screams back at you and his head turns the other way, so he's no longer watching you. _

_You sob once and leave his side silently. The decision of leaving is crystallizing in your subconscious with every passing second. Unavoidably sipping into your consciousness. It's only matter of time now…_

xxx

A son.

He had a son during those five years she had not seen him and she felt as if her whole world shattered into million pieces. He had moved on. Had found someone and became happy. Without her. Somehow she felt as if it shouldn't have been this way. He should have been miserable all this time, should be thinking about her, like she has been thinking about him. Somehow it all felt so wrong.

Her musings were interrupted by him as he bent down to his son.

"Hi there, Squirt." He said as he took up the small boy. "You know you're not allowed to run in the hospital, right?" he asked the child seriously, looking closely into his small face. The child looked small and fragile in his arms, yet very secure and protected. From the corner of her eyes Stacy could see Brenda the Nurse watching the display with a small affectionate smile on her face.

"Waight, Daddy." The child mumbles guiltily, looking down.

"And that you're not allowed to interrupt me or Mommy when we're working?" he asked him again, his whole being focused on the child in his arms.

"But I wanted to pway with you." Tears could be heard in the kid's voice and it wrenched Stacy heart. She watched transfixed as a new side of Greg emerged. She always thought he had never wanted to have any children and here he was talking comfortingly to his son making him all better. Did Greg even know how to make another human being feel better?

"I will come to play with you and I promise to bring Mommy with me" he winked at the child and the boy perked, smiling beautifully "but now I have a work to do. You will wait for us when we'll be able to come?" The child nodded a bit disappointed and House tickled him making the boy giggle. "Was he any trouble, Andie?" He asked the young nurse who was supposed to watch his son.

"No, sir. Just gave me the pass this once." She replied pinking at the admission to being outrun by a four-years-old.

"He shouldn't be so generous. We might think you're getting smarter" he replied sarcastically and the young girl flushed more. House turned then to his son, his face again looking solemn. "You shouldn't leave Andie, you understand? It'll make your Mommy worried."

"Okey. Daddy. I pwomise I won't do it again."

"Good. And now-" Stacy watched as Brenda the Nurse appeared beside Greg out of tin air and handed him two red lollipops. "-here is your treat. And mine too, you know." He said giving one sweet treat to his son and popping the other into his mouth "Just don't tell your Mother-"

"Don't tell me what?" a strong reply in a familiar amused voice came from behind them. Stacy watched as Greg's face turned into _Busted_!-expression, Brenda the Nurse just shook her head, and the child squirmed in his father arms trying to get down.

"Momma!" he screamed as House loosened his embrace, allowing the child to get down and run to his mother.

Stacy watched as the child progressed to a slim, confident looking Lisa Cuddy standing behind Greg, eyes already locked with his, her arm perched on her hip.

xxx

_The past few weeks had been a real time from hell. After his initial anger has worn out, Greg has resigned himself to the life you have chosen for him. He allowed you to get back into his life shortly after he was awakened from the induced coma. He tolerates your presence, doesn't flinch at your voice or touch. But he never touches you back; he never smiles at you anymore._

_His treatment of Lisa is not much better. He still allows her to be his physician, subdues to her orders, but you can see the strain on their friendship. He doesn't joke with her as he used to, he doesn't tease her nor banter with her. And you find yourself missing their small arguments. You cherish each one of them, if they happen (fortunately more often now as you all approach the end of his staying at the hospital). _

_You know he still hurts, so you don't expect any less of him. You await for the stinging remarks, sarcastic and hurting little knives he puts into your heart, deliberately trying to hurt you. It is some perverse form of punishment you've taken upon yourself, allowing him to stab in every vulnerable place. The guilt of your decision is stopping you from snapping at his behavior. You just embrace it, hoping the guilt will lessen because of it. _

_If you dare to be honest with yourself (which you don't do often), you admit to feeling relieved that his hospitalization has come to an end. You've been counting down the days he has to spend in the hospital, forcing yourself to stay with him during this time, but once he's out, you're going to go with your decision. You're going to free yourself. _

_You know it will hurt him, that he will need someone to be there for him. So you've spoken with Wilson. He doesn't approve but he understands. And you know that someone will be there for Greg._

_You didn't tell Lisa. You are afraid of facing her accusation, the disappointment and betrayal in her eyes on his behalf. You're such a coward. You know she wouldn't have done this. You know she wouldn't have left him. You know she'd have been there for him for his whole rehab and beyond. But you can't. You just hope she will be there right behind Wilson, so Greg won't be alone. That she'll be there to patch the pieces your leaving will shatter him into. _

_And despite all that, you still can't force yourself to change your decision. While you've been staying with him in the hospital you've realized that the hollow painful feeling in you heart was nothing more then unhappiness. You didn't felt happy in a long time. You realized you've been feeling confined in your relationship with him. It wasn't what you've expected it to be and you want to be free again. It's selfish, you know this. But you're not a sacrificing type anyway. _

_You have not been happy for a long time and you won't be for a while, you suppose. But you know it has to be done. You have to take the first step to getting back your happiness. It will hurt. You expect it to do so. It's like putting an antiseptic on an opened wound. It has to hurt like hell for the wound to heal and get better. _

_A cherished banter brings you back from your musings as you walk beside Lisa, who's pushing Greg's wheelchair to the exit door. It's the day of his leaving the hospital and you feel both dread and anticipation. You don't want to hurt him but the need to free yourself won't stop you from doing it. Your only consolation is the knowledge that he is on better terms with Lisa now. Hearing them banter almost like before the infarction is like a balm to your guilt. _

_Greg makes a sarcastic and sexual comment (so much like him before the hospitalization), and Lisa shots back offhandedly, the imagined ball shooting form one to another. They banter lightly, yet you can feel the tense undertones to it. It doesn't bother you much though; you can see how it helps to heal their strange but strong friendship. _

_The ride to the apartment is spent in silence. You've packed all of your stuff during last week and everything left inside belongs to him. It's no longer your apartment but his now, and you feel uneasy at what his reaction will be. The silence stretches in the car, but both of you don't feel like talking. You never talk since his hospitalization. Actually… you didn't talk much before it either. _

_As the both of you approach his apartment, you begin to feel nervous, but still as much determined as before. Wilson knows about your decision, he helped pack your stuff. He'll be there for him. You hope again that Lisa won't leave him either. And… and that she'll forgive you someday…_

_He's sitting on his couch in the living room. He didn't say anything at the absence of your stuff just watches you solemnly. You stand before him looking everywhere but at him. The tension in the room is so tick it could be severed by a knife. _

"_You're leaving" he finally says. It's not a question. Just a simple statement of a fact. He knows you pretty well. He probably expected it, and the half empty apartment only proved him right. _

_You finally look back at him not able to say anything, but you know he can see the truth in your eyes. _

"_When?" he asks this time, his face and tone emotionless. _

"_I… tomorrow morning. The plane takes off at eight." _

_He says nothing at this, and you can't look at him anymore. The pain is severing your heart as much as his, but you know it's for the best. You turn around, heading to the doors. He's not stopping you, and you don't expect him to. _

_You pause before his entrance door, your back still turned toward him. "I'm sorry. I wish it hadn't turned out this way." You say the meaningless platitudes he despises so much, words he doesn't' want to hear, words you don't want to say. But what's there to say? It's not fair to leave him at the beginning of his rehab, but you have to protect yourself. "I… I hope you'll be happy."_

"_Yeah… wish I could say the same" he snaps angrily, his voice dripping with venom, and you flinch from the pain it causes you. _

_Your tears stream down your face as you leave his apartment silently. The doors shutting behind you and you feel a part of your life ending here. _

xxx

Stacy watched as the small boy ran happily to Lisa Cuddy just like he had done it previously with his father. Lisa bent down to meet him with opened arms. Stacy took a glance at Greg and felt her heart clench at the tender look on his face. His whole being was focused on the two people before him. He was watching them carefully, intently, …contently. His face softened as the child was enveloped in Lisa's arms, and a small ghost of a smile graced his lips.

She didn't recognize this man. _Where had this soft side of him been hiding during the time I knew him?_ She wondered _He's always been strangely tender with Lisa _a small annoying voice whisper back in her head. A voice she tried to ignore all those years she's spent with Greg.

"Hey Mikey" Lisa said to her son warmly. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in the nursery with Andie."

"Hi Mommy, I've come to see if you can pway with me." He said, happy to be in his Mother's arms. He gesticulated with his hands making his toy stethoscope whip around Lisa's head.

"Did you, now?" she smiled at the boy, avoiding expertly the dangerous toy. Then her face turned serious. "You know you're not allowed to do so?"

"Yeah Mommy." The child looked down mumbling "Daddy towd me this awweady."

"Good." Lisa replied looking briefly at Greg, who only shrugged with his shoulders, the smile on his face widening slightly. "Then you'll better get to your room with Andie."

"Okey, Mommy." He said, getting ready to head off to the young nurse, then turning back to his Mother. "You wiww come to pway with me, wight? Daddy said he'ww get you and bwing with him."

"Well, If he said that, I can't prove him wrong, now can I?" she replied smiling adoringly at the child before her. "We'll both come and play with you. I promise."

"Yay!" the boy run up to the young nurse. "Come on, we've gotta go to ouw woom." He said tugging Andie's pants. She just smiled at the boy and took his hand.

"Sure, Mike. Let's go."

"Don't get too involved in the kids' games, Andie, or he'll outsmart you _yet_ again!" Greg yelled sarcastically behind them. And Stacy sighed relieved then smiled, not noticing the frown forming upon Brenda the Nurse's face. He's still the same Greg Stacy knew before. For a moment it seemed she's ended in some Twilight Zone or something.

The young nurse called Andie only flushed a bit at House's comment, but ignored him otherwise, as if used to his antics. The sentence however hadn't gone unnoticed by Lisa.

"The lecture." She said pointing at Greg with her finger, her eyes dancing mischievously. "It's in less than fifteen minutes." Stacy glanced back at Greg and could see his eyes laughing at Lisa as well, with just a hint of this fiendish glint in them.

"Yesss, Missstresss." He drawled like some disfigured servant going by the name of Igor. It only made the Dean of Medicine harden her look at him, and trying hardly to stop the corners of her mouth from lifting. And Stacy frowned.

"Now!" she said and he only smirked, then looked back at Stacy, the smile leaving his face instantly. "I need to go. We can catch up later" he added sarcastically.

"I-"

"Sorry, Don't have time. The boss is watching and all." He said and sidestepped her gracefully, heading toward the lecture hall. Stacy watched him surprised, only to choke at Brenda the Nurse next words.

"These papers need to be signed up, Mrs. House."

xxx

End of part one.

xxx

_Feedback is a __nice thing. XD_


	2. Lisa

**Title**: _You can't always get what you want  
__**Pairings**: If you hadn't guessed after the first chapter then your loss! ;P  
_**Genre**: Drama/Angst  
**Warnings**: Somewhat AU (more like "What if..." story)  
**Rating**: PG-13  
**Chapter**: 2/5  
**Word Count:** 5318  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own House M.D. nor the characters.  
**Summary:** What if Stacy wasn't the only one who was married? The title explains it all. A 5 parts story.

A/N: _Thank you to all that has reviewed and alerted and enjoyed the first chapter. _

_Merna has raised two issues of this story. I'd send her a reply but she's not logged, thus I decided to answer it here. _

_First is OOC.__ I'm aware that House and probably more characters are/will be out of character. Firstly, I'm not David Shore, thus I'm not exactly capable to write them IN character, only he can. Secondly, this is a somewhat AU story, with a change in the canon timeline five years earlier to the present time in the story. Thus our characters have five years worth of DIFFERENT experiences that are bound to change them. Thus the OOC I was in a way forced to write for this story to remain realistic in the chosen (by me) universe. Finally, I suppose that the OOC was about House's behavior with Mike. I don't think it was THAT OOC. If anyone would analyze House's interactions with children (i.e. 'Paternity' – the toddler in Clinic and his Mum, 'Need to Know' – the scene with little blonde girl when she visited him in his office, 'Marry Little Christmas' – House with the Little girl in a wheelchair in the cafeteria; and the whole 'Line in the Sand' episode – how he was the only one able to understand Adam…) then they'll be able to tell House's not only natural with children, but children _likes_ him as well. It's all there just hidden, you had to look more carefully to see this, I dare say it, tender side of House, but it's there, overshadowed by his sarcastic mean attitude to adults. _

_Second issue was calling __Cuddy Mrs. House and not Dr House__. It was done on purpose and it will be explained in way here in this chapter. _

_Sorry for the long AN, but I felt this issues need to be answered._

_Enjoy the reading!_

XXX

Chapter two – Lisa

XXX

Cuddy allowed the pleasant feeling of triumph to overcome her. It wasn't often that House bent to her demands, doing what she asked him to do. But here it was. He was going to give a lecture to a class full of attentive students. A lecture! House never gives any lectures. It's just not like him. It was something he had demanded when he took the job. No lectures.

She only hoped the students will come. Dr. Riley was not the best teacher; as House would say, he could bore the dead to second death. Thus, the classroom usually was filled with less then a quarter of the student body that was supposed to be on the diagnostic course. If only House had been doing the teaching…

She got up from her desk to put away some financial reports she has been working all week, when a small commotion in front of her outer door caught her attention. She walked to the door curious and noticed House getting up as if lifting something. _And was that Andie standing beside him?_ She frowned. _Has Mikey come here again? He's so insubordinate! _Shesighed_ Too much like his father, _a ghost of a smile played around her lips, as she opened the doors to walk out.

She could see House speaking to Mikey patiently and noticed the child's chastised looking face. House must have reminded Mikey of the rules. She shook her head at the irony, it always amazed her that House of all people was reminding anyone of the rules. But he did it quite often with Mikey, and she felt her heart soften, he just tried to do his best.

She loved to watch Greg interact with their son. It brought up this tender side of him that he tried to hide from all of his friends and colleagues. She felt as the most privileged person in the whole world to be allowed to see this side of House. More than often she was at the receiving end of it, but no one knew except the both of them. And it was just fine. All they needed was each other. And Mikey. And it was fine. They were happy. Her heart swelled with love she didn't allow herself to show on her face. The hospital was the ground for the professional aspect of their relationship.

Sometimes, it was really hard to maintain this aspect of their relationship with her as the Dean of the Medicine and him as her employee. Their banter was usually a strange form of foreplay (as it always had been) and stopping themselves from screwing each other just where they were at the moment was, more then often, inhuman task.

And to top it all, there were too many times, when she just wasn't able to say no to him when he wanted to do the dangerous treatment for his patient. She knew him pretty well, always did, and it didn't help her at all. She could often see the need (sometimes even the desperation) to help his patients with every possible way there was. He was the most uncaring doctor on the whole planet for anyone else, but she knew better. And it hurt her even more then him when she had to be the Dean and not the supportive wife she would prefer to be. She cave in to him more then she should, but thankfully, the board was aware of both of her and his value to this hospital. More than often they just watched at them through their fingers, not commenting on anything. And she felt nothing but grateful for it.

Cuddy noticed Brenda taking two red lollipops from the bowl on her desk and heading with them to House. The Dean of Medicine smirked at the obvious sign of nurse's not so small affection for the diagnostician that she always tired to hide deeply with her annoyance. Cuddy' smirk widened as she remembered it was mutual.

She gave herself a few seconds to simply admire the father-son bonding time (and the subtle Brenda-House bonding time), then hardened her resolve. Mikey was not allowed to eat any sweets before dinner and House knew it. Oh, he's going to regret it. And he was supposed to be going to the lecture hall right now, not playing with their son!

Cuddy opened the door to the lobby, catching House's last sentence.

"Good. And now, here is your treat. And mine too, you know." He said giving one sweet lollipop to his son and popping the other into his mouth "Just don't tell your Mother-" the opening was just too perfect to let it pass and Cuddy jumped at it.

"Don't tell me what?" she interrupted him with fiendish glee and watched satisfied as his back stiffened and he turned around. Their eyes locked for a moment, both sets of blues glistening mirthfully. The atmosphere around them thickened naturally and Cuddy felt the hotness came over her. His eyes darkened in response and she felt the warm liquid-like feeling beginning to gather in her lower stomach, her breathing increasing under his intense look.

Mickey, unaware of his parents' little moment, squirmed in Greg's arms, wanting to slide down and run to his mother. Both of the adults snapped out of their fierce staring fest. Thank God for the Squirt, or the tension would have made them look for a broom cupboard. This instant. God only knew it wouldn't have been for the first time.

House allowed Mikey to slide down bending a little, and thus allowing Cuddy to see the person behind him for the first time. Cuddy's felt a different kind of tension sip inside her as her mouth parted slightly in shock.

Stacy.

XXX

_The silence is overpowering as you stand in front of his doors. You've been standing here for a while and still can't bring yourself to knock. You sigh at your cowardice. You're a second youngest Dean of Medicine, first woman, yet you stand rotten into the place unable to do anything. _

_It's been a month since he left the hospital. A month since he has started his useless rehab. A useless rehab, because it's not going to help him much, not as you would like it to. And he's not applying himself to it as he should to. You and Wilson had to get his sorry ass to the hospital more then you both want to admit. He's subdued and quiet; non-sarcastic, for Heaven's sake! He's not himself and it worries you. If only _she_ hadn't left…_

_You feel the anger at _her_ leaving burst within you with overwhelming power and you grit your teeth, shaking with barely tamed fury. You clench your hands involuntary trying to calm yourself. How dare she! How dare she leaving him during the rehab! The most difficult part of his therapy and she shows her cowardice with full power! How dare-_

_Wait a moment. _She_ was a coward! _She_ has run away! It was _she_ who has left him… And are you… are you planning on doing it as well? Are you planning on leaving him alone to sulk and die a lonely painful death? Can you leave him in misery?_

No!No I'm not like her! I'm better then her!_ And you knock onto his doors forcefully before you even realize what you're doing. He's not answering, but that doesn't stop you. Suddenly you're fed up with his actions. All you care is to make him see the reason. _

"_House! Open up! I know you're there!" you shout finally, when he doesn't answer your knocking. You push the door handle, finding it mildly surprising that his doors are open. You hesitate for a second then enter his apartment with a sudden apprehension. "House?" he's still not answering you. _

_You suppose it's because he's still not ok with what you've done to his leg. You blame yourself as much as he does and his treatment of you is not helping your guilt. But you don't blame him, you just accept it. You are facing the music, even if it makes you bleed inside. You both are hurting because of the infarction, and even if his behavior toward you has slightly improved, you can still feel the deep chasm on your friendship. You suppose the friendship will never be the same, but you won't allow him destroy it irreparably. You value it too much. You realize suddenly you plan on fighting for it, because it's so worth it. You don't want to do the same mistake you did during your college time. You are not letting him go anymore. He's stuck with you, even if he doesn't want to. _

_You find him in his bedroom sprawled across his bed. You feel your heart jump into your throat as the worst scenario plays inside your head._ No, he couldn't… he couldn't! _Suddenly, you can't breathe, your chest constricts, and a burning feeling grips your heart. The room is closing on you as you watch him laying there unmoving, and it feels as if you've been falling into bottomless pit. _No… _The time stretches into eternity, as you think your heart dies in this moment, until- _

_Until you see the smallest of movements in his chest. _Up-down, up-down, up-down…_ The most beautiful sight you've ever seen. He's breathing and the relief rushing into you makes your knees almost buckle. You exhale painfully, shaking yourself form the daze and then you switch on the doctor mode. _Hisdoctor_ mode. _

_As you check his vitals, you can smell the alcohol, and you notice the half empty bottle of painkillers near his pillow. You shake your head, never stopping the check up. You don't find anything wrong with him, he's stable and you sigh with relief again. You put him in the bed more comfortably, and tuck the sheets around him. _

_You make yourself a tea in his kitchen. What has been he thinking? Is he insane? Well, he is, but this kind of insane to take his life? What if… what if you hadn't come? You feel the anger fuel inside you. You did all you can to safe his life, and he throws it away. Doesn't he… doesn't he realize you can't, won't live without him? That you need him to be in your life? He's a selfish bastard! _

_You slam the cup of your tea on the counter. He's so going to regret this! You'll make sure he finishes his rehab, even if it will cost you your friendship with him. His job is still waiting for him, and you don't plan on looking for a new head of diagnostician department, not when you already have the best one. You'll pester Wilson to do everything possible (and beyond that) for House to start living again. House is so going to have major changes in his life soon. And you don't give a damn what it will do to your friendship. Your previous resolve about fighting for the friendship sacrificed as you swear to yourself that you'll help him. You start your vigil at his bedside, never noticing when your eyelids become too heavy and the sleep overcomes you. _

_You feel a warm hand stroking your left hand tenderly and fear grips your heart. What's going on? Where the hell are you? What's happened? You open your eyes widely and the memories from the pervious evening crash with full force. "House?" you whisper and the moment the word leaves your mouth you regret it. His hand stills and you can feel him pulling away from you both physically and emotionally. _

_You dare to look back at him and you find yourself drowning in the big pools of blue. Your heart flutters at the raw emotion in his eyes, but he masks them too quickly for you to read them properly. The intense moment you shared mere minute before is gone already, and you feel a strange sense of loss. _

_You get up and start checking his vitals to make sure he's alright. He unusually allows you to do it without any sarcastic comment, just watching you. The silence become more and more overwhelming and suffocating and you find yourself looking unsuccessfully for anything to say just to break it. _

_He tries to get up, his face constricting in pain he feels and you find yourself desperate to help him. Yet, his cold and uninviting stance prevents you to do so. He uses the awkward hospital cane as he turns away, making sure to put quite a distance between the both of you. _

"_What are you doing here?" he asks you harshly, bitingly, his back still facing you, and the question catches you off guard. _WhatamI- What?! How dare he_- the anger form the previous evening erupts inside you with double force, clouding your thinking. All you want to do is to shake him. Doesn't he realize what has he put you through just yesterday?_

"_What am I doing here? What am _I_ doing here!? What are _you_ doing here?!" you scream back at him, his turned back is like a fuel to your anger. "You are not coming to your rehab appointments, you avoid Wilson and me, you don't return any calls, ignore everything. And you asks me what I am doing here?" you take a step toward him fiercely; "I came here, because I was worried and what did I find?! You lying on your bed, overdosed!" another step toward him and you notice for the first time how his back stiffens as your words hit the chord. "You can't just drink alcohol and eat half bottle of painkillers! You _do_ realize what that will result in, right?" You ask sarcastically, but the emotions, you are feeling, make visible the desperate undertones of your voice. "You can't go on like this! You are vegetating, not living! You don't do your rehab; you overdose your painkillers, you're on a road to become a miserable addict! Are you trying to kill yourself?!"_

"_Maybe I do!" he finally snaps at you, turning around fiercely and you watch him shocked. "Maybe I want to be dead!" his eyes flash as he limps painfully toward you and you flinch at his words. "I'm not living, you say. I know that! I know that I'm not living and I know that I won't be living anymore. How can I live as a cripple?!" he takes another step toward you as you stand rotten into you place seeing for the first time his depression. Your heart clench painfully and you can feel hot tears pricking behind your eyes. _

"_I'm sorry." You chock out, trying desperately to hold your tears, your anger forgotten at the sight of this raw misery, he's clearly feeling. "I'm sorry you lost your thigh muscle, I'm sorry you'll be cripple for the rest of your life, but I can't- I _cannot_ be sorry for saving your life. I won't!"_

"_And what a life will I have? What?!" he screams at you, taking a step toward you, and you barely stops yourself form flinching again, then the fury returns. _

"_The one you will make for yourself!" you shot back at him the anger pummeling in your veins again as you take a step closer to him. _

"_I can't make a life for myself! You and _her_ robbed me from that choice the moment you decided to do the operation!" he screams back into your face; both of you have finally invaded the other's personal space. When the distance between you shortened you don't know. "I wanted to be dead. I chose to be dead but you and _she_ didn't allow me to! You were too selfish! You wanted me alive, no matter what I wished! You shouldn't have saved me!"_

"_I couldn't- I couldn't _not_ save you!" your voice break at the end as you try to understand his reasoning, try to make him understand yours. "I couldn't let you die in pain and-"_

"_No, you just wanted me to live in pain!" he says bitingly._

"_No… no, I didn't. I-" _

"_I didn't want a life as a cripple!" he screams again, shaking with anger. You embrace the bottled up emotions he's finally letting out, even if it hurts to be at the receiving end of them. Maybe it will help him; maybe it will help him with his healing, both emotional and physical…You don't flinch when his hands grabs your arms, the cane digging painfully into your forearm as he squeezes it in his anger. Maybe he will resume his rehab …will be willing to partake again in your friendship… "I still don't want to have this half of a life. I want to be dead! You hear me?!" he shakes you fiercely and something inside you break, hot tears streaming down your face. It's the second time you're crying in front of him. "I. want. to. be. dead." He puts an emphasis on each word with a shake, your faces inches apart, eyes locked, his flashing fiercely, yours glistening pleadingly. _

"_No… no, don't say it. Please-"_

_Suddenly his lips are on yours, crushing, demanding, as if half-pleading. It interrupts your sentence, but you don't care, losing yourself in this unexpected, but oh, so pleasant – desired – sensation. You gasp as his teeth brushes your lower lip, and he uses this to slip his tongue into your mouth. The electric waves, it has caused, make your whole body tingle. _

_His kissing is raw, desperate and needy, but you allow him to devour you, finding as much comfort in it as he does. You ignore the clashing of his hospital-provided cane, as it falls down, when his hands begin to wander. One is fisting in you hair angling your head to the side giving him a better access, the other around your middle crushing you to him. You are flushed against him and your whole being twitter at the familiar feeling of his chest touching yours. _

_He kisses you possessively and you whimper as the hot pleasant liquid-like feeling spreads inside you. He needs it, oh, he _so_ desperately needs it, and even if you know he's probably using you, you can't deny him. The vivid image of your last times weakens your will to stop him. You won't admit it even to yourself but you want this. His kissing, his brushing, his manhandling. Oh! You just want it _so_ badly. _

_The back of your legs hits his bed and you tumble down bringing him with you, never breaking the kiss. The anticipation of feeling him again inside you drives away the last desperate call of your reason. You will probably regret it in the morning. It will probably destroy completely the last strings of your friendship, but you don't care. No. There is no place for thinking and reasoning now. All you want to do is forget and feel. Just once again feel him, make him feel you. Just once again feel what's always been between the both of you._

_You almost scream with relief, familiarity and the feeling of _right_ when he enters you. The feeling of fulfillment is overwhelming and you let yourself be lost within the deep of the heat and passion, healing and comfort. You lock your gaze with his as the both of you loss yourselves within the underlying warmness, and (dare you admit it?) always denied but never forgotten mutual love._

XXX

Cuddy watched House's retreating back with a soft smile on her face, and then frowned. He's leaning more and more on his cane again. _Has the pain increased again?_ She made a mental note to talk about it with him later. She knew he would probably start popping more and more Vicodin, pretending everything was alright. He knew he couldn't do that because of Mikey, but she'd remind him about it anyway.

"These papers need to be signed up, Mrs. House." Brenda's voice brought Cuddy back from her musings, surprising her. The Dean frowned at the nurse, as the words registered. Why was she calling her Mrs. House? No one on the hospital staff has been calling her by this name. They knew better. At the hospital both Cuddy and House were only the Dean of Medicine and the diagnostician, nothing more (if you didn't count the not-so-few _disappearances_ in her office, some broom closets and a lab – only _once_…). True, Cuddy has taken House's last name when she married him, but they agreed to keep their surnames at the hospital and other work related events. This made it easier to maintain the professional aspect of their relationship. Brenda knew all of this. So why was she, of all people in the hospital, calling her _Mrs. House_ now?

Cuddy looked hard at the nurse searching her eyes and trying to understand her reasoning. She noticed the protective gleam in the other woman's eyes and sighed. Brenda has become quite protective of her boss during the past year, when Cuddy needed a friend other then Wilson (who at the time was taking care of House…) and their relationship blossomed from one between colleagues to one between friends. Cuddy was glad for Brenda's friendship; it was a pillar of strength for her during the hardships of last year; she shook her head slightly, she didn't like to think about _that_, didn't _want_ to think about it now, nor ever…

At the moment, the Dean of Medicine was trying to understand the other woman's message that she tried to convey with her hard look. Unfortunately, Brenda was not House and Cuddy could not percept the meaning of it all. Brenda huffed, then her eyes flickered pointedly to the right.

_Huh? Oh. _Oh! _Stacy_.

Cuddy signed the papers, trying to act normally. She allowed her earlier questions to surface, now that both House and Mikey were dealt with. What was Stacy doing here? And why did she have to come now? Now, when everything seemed to get back on track? Was her goal to ruin Cuddy's life? All Cuddy has dreamed for? And what she has finally got?

Cuddy could not stall any longer. She looked for the last time at Brenda, who gave her a look that clearly said _If you need me, I'm right here_. She smiled at the nurse, giving back the signed papers and watched as Brenda took her _don't-mess-with-me-and-my-boss_ stance. The nurse got back to what she was doing earlier, but Cuddy knew her attention will be mostly focused on her and Stacy.

"Hello, Stacy" Cuddy turned her attention to the dark-haired woman, no longer having any excuses to ignore her. She was glad her voice sounded neutral.

"Hi, Lisa." There could be heard apprehension in Stacy's voice, but both women ignored it.

"What brings you to Princeton-Plainsboro Hospital?" Cuddy has never been so grateful for her public relation skill, like in this moment. She was sure wouldn't be able to play it of so cool if not for them.

"I need a consult with Greg." Stacy replied honestly.

"He is doing a lecture now, but should be free in about two hours."

"Oh, then I'll wait for him." Stacy looked away, and then her eyes widened as they fell onto Cuddy's necklace.

Cuddy touched the necklace involuntary, fingering her wedding band on it. She still wore it around her neck, having gotten used to it being there during the past year. Her engagement ring was around her fourth finger, though.

Cuddy noticed the sad, almost defeated look in Stacy's face and felt the deeply hidden reminds of anger and resentment at the woman before her surface. She's sad? She's defeated?! What did she thought she'd going to gain by coming here? Did she think Greg will be still pining after her all those years? Boy, was she full of herself! And she shouldn't look so sullen; it was her idea to leave him in the first place! The anger clouded her reason for a moment and Cuddy wouldn't have been able to stop her words, even if she tried to.

"Did you think he wasn't going to get married? That he'll be still pining after you?" her voice was a bit nastier (and with quite a bit more smugness) than she would have preferred, but she keeps her pose looking back at Stacy, challenging.

"I…" Stacy's eyes flicker away for a second then she straightened, locking her eyes with Cuddy's. "I wasn't pining after him either."

"Good."

"If you must know, my _husband_ is sick and I need Greg's opinion on it." Stacy replied bitingly. She had never allowed anyone to put her down and treat like a trash and it seemed she wasn't going to allow it now, even if it was justifiable.

"I'm sure he'll be happy to provide it." Cuddy shot back sarcastically, regretting her words instantly. What was she doing? It was five years ago… true, she had never had any opportunity to confront Stacy about her leaving, but still- she should have been able to give it a rest finally. Yet… the pain… it was still _so_ raw- and she wondered briefly how Greg was really taking Stacy's return. She breathed deeply, trying to calm herself. Sometimes, picking Greg's habits was not the best thing for the Dean of Medicine. "I'm sorry, Stacy." She said, smiling weakly. "Hard week at the hospital. I'm sure House will help you."

"Sure." Stacy replied rather coldly then softened a bit. "Maybe I should wait for him in cafeteria." She said placating. Both women could felt the tension in the air. _If I wasn't emotionally involved with Greg, then maybe I would be able to play it better with Stacy._ Cuddy nodded at the other woman, and Stacy brushed past her toward the cafeteria.

The Dean of Medicine sighed tiredly. It was years ago, why was she still feeling angry at Stacy? After all if it wasn't for her leaving Cuddy probably wouldn't have been with Greg now. Well, it wasn't _all_ because of Stacy's leaving, but it triggered the major changes in their lives. This and that one important decision, she has made almost five years ago…

XXX

_You stare unbelievingly at the plastic stick in your hands. It was one night! Just one night! How could it have happened? And why did it have to happen now? _

_You can't believe it despite the fact you've already had your suspicions for a while… the sudden tiredness, swelling and tenderness of your breasts, strange urging to eat the hated mushrooms with a scrambled egg… But it was the morning sickness that forced you to finally take the test… to confirm your suspicions… to admit the upcoming change in your life…_

_Your hands shake terribly as you put away the test. You can't find the strength to move away from your bathroom. You sit subdued on the closed toilet sit, your head in your hands. What to do now? You feel the tears prickling at the back of your eyes and it doesn't make you feel any better. Great. Just great! All you need now is to turn into a stupid human hosepipe!_

_You hold the tears back trying to calm yourself. You need to get a grip. You make the effort to get up and head to your bed, sprawling yourself there. You squeeze your eyes shut, hoping you are hugging someone to you and not just a freaking pillow. The tears fall and you allow yourself to get it all out._

_Later, you lay with dried tears streaks on your face, thinking. Some crucial decisions need to be made. Your hand sneaks to your abdomen involuntary and you sigh, an important question running in your head. Should you keep it, or should you not? You have always been against abortion, but now you find yourself _understanding_ suddenly all those desperate women. You haven't planned on having children now. It was always somewhere in the not-as-near-and-as-specified future. The highest point of your carrier has just started. Finally, you've become the Dean of Medicine, second youngest, the first woman. There is no place for a child in that picture right now. _

_Yet… a persistent little voice in your head, sounding too much like your mother's, protests weakly. You are in mid-thirties, have a good job, a new house. It's a perfect time and setting for a child. _

But I'm not in any serious relationship!_ You protest, your resolve weakening suddenly. And thank God! A snarky little voice shots back or you'd be in quite a fit for having someone else's baby!_

And what a bout House?_ You feel the tears prickling behind your eyes again, as you try a different tactic at reasoning with yourself. _What should I tell him?_ Surely he's going to figure it out soon. He knows you don't eat mushrooms with scrambled eggs! And you've never been able to lie to him, he always knows the truth. And… and how this is all going to affect him? He's finally gained some stability in his life after the infarction and Stacy's leaving. He's finishing his rehab, seems relatively good with his life. _I can't just rock it all upside down! House _hates_ changes!_ And this is going to change everything. Change your life, change his, and most of all, change your friendship. Your heart clenches at the thought of your strange friendship with House becoming different, because you just _can't_ imagine it as a positive change. You can't stomach the thought of him avoiding you, abandoning you… no… it can't be this way… you can't allow for it to be… you can't…_I can't…

_A horrible thought settles into your mind. It seems so easy. So easy to just get over with it. Make an appointment; you know quite a lot of good and secretive doctors. It's just a little surgery and all your problems will be resolved. No changes, no meaningful decisions. It will all be the same as it used to be. All you need to-_

_A nauseous feeling strakes you, as you realize fully what your are thinking about… what you are considering…_No. No! I can't- I won't do it! _Your hand sneaks again to your abdomen. _I won't kill anyone. I won't! I won't! And surely I'm not going to kill my baby!

_Your hand makes soothing circles on your lower abdomen and you realize that there wasn't any choice to make in the first place. There weren't any other options to take. Not at all. You're going to keep the baby. You're going to have this little being. You don't know what life is going to bring, but you know this baby will be yours and it will be loved. You don't know yet what you'll do with House. If you're even going to tell him about it. But now… no matter what you do, no matter what he says, you're going to keep this bundle. And maybe… maybe this little baby is going to be bundle of joy. For the both of you._

XXX

A hand on Cuddy's shoulders brought her back from her memories.

"Don't worry, Lisa"

Cuddy looked back surprised to see Brenda standing behind her. The other woman never called her by her given name in the opened part of the hospital. This kind of intimacy was reserved only for Cuddy's office and only when one of them (usually Cuddy herself) needed a friend to be with.

Brenda didn't take her hand off Cuddy's shoulder but was not looking back at the Dean. Her eyes were fixed on Stacy's retreating back, a frown upon her face.

"She's not going to mess anything here." Brenda said, as if to herself. "You and Mike mean too much to him."

And suddenly she had gone to her duties, leaving Cuddy in the middle of the deserted entrance hall, with her mouth slightly parted. A pleasant flutter began in Cuddy's stomach as she headed to her office reassured.

XXX

End of chapter two

XXX

_Feedback is a nice thing. XD_


	3. James

**Title**: You can't always get what you want  
**Pairings**: Seriously you don't know? ;)  
**Genre**: Drama/Angst  
**Warnings**: Somewhat AU (more like "What if..." story)  
**Rating**: PG-13  
**Chapter**: 3/5  
**Word** **Count**: 5640  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own House M.D. nor the characters.  
**Summary**: What if Stacy wasn't the only one who was married? The title explains it all. A 5 parts story.

A/N:_ I'd like to thank all that has reviewed. Special thanks to _**scheggia****, ****iamawallflower****, ****ratka****, ****vampirenav****, **_this chapter is for you. Also I'd like to thanks to all that has alreted this story. I assume you like it which makes me happy of course :D, BUT I'd like to hear __what__ exactly you like about this story. If someone doesn't like this story, drop me a line too, it's always good to know what you (in this case me :) ) should improve on. _

_Have a nice read. :D_

xxx

Chapter 3 - James

xxx

Wilson headed to the cafeteria, thankful for the excuse of an early lunch break. He hadn't had much for breakfast this morning because he tried to leave home as soon as possible. It was Julie's work-free day of the week and, well, they, _really, _didn't need another argument. Sometimes it was easier to take House's card and avoid the problems… He sighed wishfully, then chose a salad and turned to the nearest table, resolved on enjoying his meal; yet, his thoughts kept coming back to his rapidly crumbling private life.

His third marriage seemed to be the ideal, the final one. _Three is the charm _the saying goes, and he hoped it would become true for him as well. But not everything in real life was as good as it was supposed to be. He sighed wistfully again. Yet, some people were able to overcome the worst and be happy. Take, for example, House and Cuddy. They were married for almost four years now (which was amazing fit the duo) and despite the hardships of last year, still were together. They even seemed to be closer then before, willing to do _more_ to stay together, and it was not _just_ for Mikey.

He saw Andie passing with said little Squirt in the cafeteria doors and smiled involuntary at the bounce in the small boy's steps. His dark curly fringe was falling into his eyes but he didn't seem to mind it, lost in his happy thoughts.

Mike was a strange blender of the good looking qualities of both of his parents. He had Cuddy's great locks and House's the bluest of all blues eyes. You could tell, he was going to be lean and would have that somewhat sophisticated air just like Cuddy had around her. And he was very agile just like House used to be before the infarction.

But what Wilson liked the most about Mikey's was his character. He had the ability to manipulate others (too much like his father) but the caring side he took from his mother prevented him to use it _that_ often. He could get what he liked whenever and with whomever he has chosen at the moment (just like House) and charm his way with everyone (just like Cuddy could do with, say, the donors…).

Mike has already shown his brilliance and brightness resolving some puzzle and problems for older children (which made Cuddy happy) and often proclaimed his not a small interest in music (which made House proud, not that the diagnostician will ever _admit_ it…). Mostly, Mike was a normal four years old that everyone loved.

And _really_, it was hard not to. Cameron gushed over him whenever she could (which drove House crazy and made Cuddy smile), Chase played with the Squirt when no one was looking (being caught up red-handed by House and Wilson once…). Only Foreman seemed to keep his distance (unless you count that one time he bought Mikey and himself ice cream and ate them together, Brenda saw them…) All in all, Mikey was one happy boy with two parents (and some aunts and uncles) loving him very much. Two parents who were _married_.

Wilson smiled involuntary to his salad. He had never thought he'd see the day when House married someone. He's best mate didn't seem to want to get married; definitively he hadn't showed any signs of this wish when he was with Stacy, but here he was. It all turned out for the best for House. Wilson smiled then his mouth twisted in slight frown. _I wonder if it turned alright for Stacy, too…_ Had she found what she was looking for? He thought about her from time to time wondering if the hurt, she has caused both herself and House, was worth it all. Did she find the happiness she carved so much? She has definitely, given it to House and Cuddy in the end. But at first… he winced as the memories from those five years overflowed him.

He was there to witness what Stacy's leaving had done to House. He often shuddered at the remembrance of that first month. He had found House overdosed more often then he would like to admit. He feared for his friend's life in that one month more then he feared for all his patients put together during his whole practice. It was one nasty month when neither he nor Cuddy were able to sleep much at night always concerned for House's well being.

He never told Cuddy about the times House had overdosed, didn't want to worry her more. He could recall the deep creases on her forehead and around her eyes as if he has seen them only yesterday and not five years ago. She took Stacy's leaving as badly as House did. Maybe even worse. She was very hurt on his behalf on top of her guilt for what she and Stacy had done. The worry she felt was all consuming and Wilson was able to see how much it had taken out of her. She was slowly diminishing; falling down into pitch of darkness when the initial anger of Stacy's leaving had worn of.

Oh, he remembered the day well, when Cuddy had found out about Stacy's stunt, as she called it. The burst of her anger was like an all-consuming fire. She yelled, cursed then cried, feeling even more guilty then before. Somehow blaming herself for House's lost happiness alongside his thigh muscle. Wilson wasn't surprised _that_ _much_ to see the deep care she had for their mutual genius friend, more like touched by it (and a littlie envious of House for having this strong woman care for him so much…).

Yes, that month after Stacy's leaving was one ugly time, and Wilson was there to witness it all. He had witnessed both of his closest friends falling into pieces slowly, painfully. And he didn't know a damn how to help them.

Until one day, when it all changed.

xxx

_You enter the lobby of the hospital completely focused on your latest patient's file. He really shouldn't have been giving up the meds. You know they had side-effects, you've warned your patients about them, hoping the treatment will outdo the negative side. But the patient seems to be tired of this treatment. You don't blame him much, but you want to help him. Maybe if you rethink the combination…_

_You pass the clinic and nurse station, turning to the almost deserted corridor that leads to the elevators, noting absentmindedly that someone is already waiting there. Maybe all you need to do is to remix the meds a bit. They do work differently to each patient, after all. Maybe you've just miscalculated the right amount of ingredients. Maybe if you-_

"_-wouldn't have sat in the wheelchair if it weren't for the better view of your ass." A sarcastic remark brings you back from your musings and you freeze on the spot, looking up and not believing "Actually, it's the only thing I can see now, as it took the better part of my view."_

_You watch disbelievingly at the scene in front of you, checking your watch to make sure the time is correct, because, surely, it _cannot_ be House sitting in the wheelchair at eight o'clock in the morning (!) in the rehab gown he despises so much. There is a harassed looking nurse, whose name you remember as Brenda, behind the wheelchair and a warily yet somehow _differently_ looking Cuddy standing beside them. The three of them clearly waiting for an elevator to come._

_Seriously, you must have entered a Twilight Zone or something, because it can't be House_, _as Dr. _GregoryHouse_, there willing to be pushed on a wheelchair. He threatened them to give him the hospital-provided cane against their better judgment, when he was discharged from the hospital a month ago. 'He would _not_ be sitting in a wheelchair, he was not _that_ crippled!' The diagnostician argued. But, here he was, ogling Cuddy's ass obnoxiously as Brenda the nurse, who was impressively _n­ot_ nervous, was standing patiently behind the wheelchair waiting for the elevator. _

"_If you would have tried to look up higher, then, I don't know, you might be _able_ to see more then my backside." Cuddy shot back, one hand on her hip, as she watched down at House imploringly. _

"_I would, but then again, the girls are preventing me from seeing your face. They do overshadow a _big_ part of it, you know." He said leering at Cuddy's breasts._

"_Then you should stop invading my personal space. Really, the distance will do wonders to your vision spectrum."_

"_But why would I do that? I _like _what I see now!" he replies, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively and you can see Cuddy's jaw clench. You just don't know if it is in anger and exasperation or in amusement. You almost _miss_ the slight lifting of the corners of her mouth and you know it's the later. She leans toward House bringing her face inches from his, their eyes locked._

"_Then you'd better watch as much as you can. Because it is all you'll ever get." The air seems to be zapping around them, but the two of them are focused solely on each other, the world around them fading. _

_You watch as Cuddy gets up slowly, allowing House – involuntary or not – to leer down her cleavage. When she straightened, their eyes lock again, and then Cuddy does something that leaves you gob smacked. _

_She _winks_ at him._

_What the-? Did she just do that? Since when Cuddy winks at House? Or anyone for that matter?_

_House sends her a knowing smirk in response. And it surprises you just as much as Cuddy's out-of-character behavior mere minute before. House has not smiled or anything since Stacy's leaving and now he is giving Cuddy his patented smirk. Granted, it was not his _usual_ smirk, more like a ghost of the one before the infarction, but still it's an amazing improvement. _What the hell is going on here_? you ask yourself, yet you can't help the strange feeling of warmness zap you up as you watch your two closest friends bicker. It was so long since you have seen them at it, that - you never thought you'll say it – but you embrace the sight with opened arms and not a small amount of nostalgia._

"_Your rehab appointment starts in five minutes." Cuddy says pointing to the opening doors of elevator, already regaining the professional air around herself. The small moment between her and House is already shoveled into the past, as she takes her pose as the Dean of Medicine and he as her employee. "Get going!"_

"_Only if you will do later that lap dance you promised me! The wheelchair must be good for something!" he shots back as the elevator door closes on him and Brenda the Nurse. Cuddy just shakes her head, a soft smile on her face as she's heading to her office door. _

_You watch her, fascinated by the slightly noticeable spring in her step and the theme of Twilight Zone is humming annoyingly in your head again. You find the ability to move and march after her all eager to gain some information. _Surely_, something must have happened these past two days. Last time you saw House he was all sulky and miserable and now he seems to be almost back to himself. And Cuddy! She looks years younger; the worried creases on her face disappearing as if cleaned with a make-up cleaning lotion. _

_You enter the Dean's office right after Cuddy, set on finding what it's going on. She looks up at you, her eyes almost twinkling, yet some of the deep creases of fatigue from past month are still evident in her face. The air around her is different, tough, not as …gloomy as it used to be, you suppose, and you are _dying_ to get the truth out of her. _

"_Do you need anything, Dr. Wilson?" she asks you almost cheerfully, and you can't help but stare at her in wonder. Is this the same woman who was crying on your shoulder two days ago?_

"_I… I-What the hell happened?" you blurt out not able to hold the question inside you. All subtlety forgotten for the time being, as the only thing you care for is to gain some sense of this new development. _

_She stops segregating the papers on her desk and looks into your face confused. "Should have something happened?" she asks you, clearly wondering what you mean, but you ignore it, all worked up on the issues you are presented with._

"_Yes! Yes! Something had _obviously_ happened!" your hands are wriggling wildly around you as you pace in front of her desk, trying to express your perplexities. "You- You glow, and House- Don't make me start on House! He smiled! And he was in the hospital gown! And in a wheelchair! _A wheelchair!_ What- What did you do to him?" you didn't think it was possible to sound so desperate and in awe of someone at the same time, but that's how your voice sounds now. You clear your throat and ask "You did go visit him on Friday, didn't you?"_

"_I didn't do anything." She puts down her papers sitting behind her desk. "And yes, I did see him. We had a chat on Saturday and House agreed to resume his rehab. Hence, he's on the fourth floor right now, hopefully not harassing some poor nurses there." She watches you expectantly as if challenging. _

"_Oh… I suppose, that's good." She raises her eyebrows watching you disbelievingly, and you rush with your next words. "I thought he was not going to finish the rehab. He was in a dreadful state as of late and I hadn't thought anything will bring him back. I'm happy you had found the way to help him." You reply defensively, somehow she has managed to turn it all against you, and you realize you're not as good at manipulating her as House is. Or maybe… maybe she's more _accommodating_ with him…"It's just- it's all so strange and sudden. I was just confused …and concerned." You add quickly, covering you gossip-like curiosity._

"_You shouldn't be. Everything's going to be fine." She says smiling at you, yet her tone indicates that this conversation is over; as she finishes the segregation of her papers, you frown very unsatisfied with her answer. Surely there is more to this… but you don't know how to get it all out of her. _

_She gets up from her desk, putting some of the reports in the drawler and you notice her choice of wardrobe for the first time this morning. _Isn't it the same she wore on Friday?_ But you are not sure. It's House who's good with the details, and somehow you _don't_ want to ask him about it. Her blouse seems to have a different color, and she looks as perfect as always, but something bothers you about it all. She definitely had this necklace on Friday; she was playing with it long enough for you to remember it when she cried in front of you. _Aha!_ She never wears the same jewelry (as House pointed to you once), which only means she hasn't been at home during the weekend. You gasp, _surely, she didn't spend the night_- you shake your head, dismissing the implications your assumptions point to. You _hadto_ be wrong. _

_And suddenly… suddenly, you are all happy with the little knowledge of these past two days you have been privileged to; you don't really_ _want to know _exactly_ how Cuddy has managed to make House resume his rehab. You are just glad that whichever way she has chosen, had worked. _

"_I'd better be going. Have a patient in half an hour." You say already turning to the doors. She looks at you and smiles briefly. _

"_Sure. Just-" her phone rings and she picks it up. "Don't worry" she mouths to you, her eyes again twinkling and you nod. "Dr Cuddy." she answers the phone and you know you're dismissed. _

_You pause at her doors looking for the last time at her. Somehow she holds herself higher then usual. As if some kind of _burden_ has been lifted form her shoulders. The air of fatigue is still present but it seems to sip away already, and it is evident that something is different about her. As if… as if a _release _of some sorts has been made. For _both_ of them, you realize as you recall House's behavior form this morning. _

_Cuddy puts down the phone and picks some financial books, humming a familiar song. House's favorite one. You smile at her, closing the doors. You feel light-headed and hopeful; just like someone feels seeing a light in the long dark tunnel. You know the healing process has started. _

xxx

Wilson looked around enjoying his meal, when his jaw dropped slightly. Surely, he needed to check his eyes or something! It couldn't be her, standing in the doorway to cafeteria and huffing slightly. But he knew better, recognized that dark hair, the stance… It couldn't be anyone else.

"Stacy? Stacy Hudson!" he called before he was able to stop himself, unaware of the wide smile spreading across his face. He was just thinking about her and here she was! She seemed to perk up at the sight of him and returned his smile, a bit hesitantly though. He beckoned her and she came, sitting at the table across from him.

"Hello, James." She said smiling more sincerely now.

"Hello, Stacy. It's really you. I can't believe this." He said with a wide smile, still in a slight shock at seeing her here after all those years. They used to get along before, and he found himself sometimes regretting their lost friendship. "So what's brings you to our hospital?"

"My husband is sick and I need a consult with Greg. He's the best." She rushed with her words and he wondered if she had had a struggle with someone else already. Then the meaning of her words registered, his smile leaving his face.

A husband? So, she did get married. And considering the deeper lines around her mouth and eyes, (and excluding the worry evident in her face) it must have been a happy marriage. It's good, he supposed. It seemed that the break-up those five years ago was a good thing for both parties involved.

"Oh, sorry about your husband. I didn't know you were married. Congratulations are in order, I suppose." The corners of his mouth lifted for a second in a slight, polite smile. "And I'm sure House will help you." He added, feeling more and more awkwardly, now that the shock of seeing her here wore off. "He's giving a lecture or so I heard." He said, smiling weakly again. "Can you imagine him doing so? Never thought I'll see the day."

"Oh, I'm sure Lisa has found a way to _persuade_ him." She shot without fluttering an eyelash and he frowned at the bitter undertones to her remark. What was she _really_ doing here? Surely, she couldn't think he'll wait for her all those years. She surely _didn't_! He sighed softly. What could he say to her?

"Stacy… You-"

"I'm sorry." She interrupted him, exhaling slowly. Her voice was weary and suddenly she looked quite tired. "It's not your fault. I did left him. He was free to do what he wished." She said looking down. Her shoulders slouched a bit and he felt a quick pang of pity at the sight. His need to help everyone took over and he prepared to ask his next comforting question, but she had interrupted him again, standing up.

"Will you excuse me? I think I'm going to buy a coffee. I think it will do me wonders." She tried to pull off a brave face, but he had seen right through it.

"Sure." He replied watching her retreating back. He could tell she tried to collect herself, while she waited in the cue. He didn't know what to think of it all. For five years she hadn't given a damn about what was going on here. She hadn't kept in touch with either of them, not that he was aware of. But suddenly …here she was, and he wasn't sure how he felt about it. He cared deeply for both House and Cuddy, and he couldn't help but be worried about them. How would it affect their still somewhat fragile relationship… the images from last year moving before his eyes. They really didn't need this! He felt a sudden anger at Stacy for coming here. For complicating it all. The overprotective side of him taking over, but he buried it alongside his anger when she neared his table again, a polite and quite faked smile forming on both of their faces.

They spoke for a while about some trivial things trying to forget the small episode before. He learned more about her husband Mark, how they had met, how she realized he was the one, and how they had married. She told him about the job she had now, asked about his marriage and expressed the sympathy, even when he tried to hide the troubles of his private life. They were silent for a while, he finishing his salad, and she biting her lip over her coffee deep in thought.

"James… how… how was it when I left?" she asked him in a small, but somehow strong voice, looking directly into his eyes.

His throat went dry as he watched her expectant eyes. Then he saw red. She still didn't get it! The hurt and grief she had caused! The previous anger returned, pumping in his veins again.

"How do you think it was?" he shot up, and she flinched. He exhaled slowly trying to calm himself. "Have you ever thought how it would affect them? Affect us all?" she looked away not able to meet his eyes, and bit her lip again. She didn't say anything and he continued.

"Well, it wasn't a mead and honey for them, you know. I was there, just like you had requested. Saw it all first handedly; how hard he took your leaving, how angry she was when she had found out. You don't know the damage you've caused!" he said fiercely and she flinched again.

"Was it that bad?"

"Was it bad? Was it bad?! Bad doesn't describe even the half of it! I was there to see them falling slowly into pieces. Both of them!" he snarled at her unusually, and she suddenly bristled, not used to being treated like a crap.

"And what he did? Cry over his pillow? It sounds so much like him!"

"He didn't! But he stopped his rehab when you left, stopped living, for God's sake! Overdosed for more times, then I'd like to remember!"

"You're being overdramatic."

"Actually, I'm underplaying! I wouldn't be surprised if his refusal to do the rehab is the reason he's in so much pain right now!" he said accusatorily, taking a small pleasure at hurting her, then the guilt took over.

"He- he really took it that bad?"

"Yes, yes he did." He said in a placating tone, his anger suddenly spent. It was all in the past, but at the same time still hurting them all whenever they thought about it. Somehow that part of their lives, what Stacy had done, was still not closed. Not dealt with. "It wasn't easy for them, for all of us, you know?"

"I…I suppose it wasn't… but… they seems so happy now." She said with a far look on her face.

"They fight for their happiness." He said simply, yet as if… as if revealing the biggest mystery of the universe, and she looked at him quizzically. "They fought for the happiness last year," he ignored her puzzled look, lost in his thoughts; "they had fought for it when you left. And they win the battles so far. They win. Overcome the trails, because it's all worth it." He looked suddenly into her eyes, deeply …searching …telling her he's very serious about what's he going to say. "Are you, are you going to ruin it all?"

She inhaled sharply then looked down, staring hardly at her cold coffee. "I… I missed-" she pauses collecting herself, squaring her shoulders and looking back at him. "He never fought for us." a sad smile on her face, a sudden understanding in her eyes. "But he always fought for Lisa. With Lisa mostly" she laughed a hollow laugh "but in a way for her. Always for her.  
Always for them." she shook her head with that same sad smile on her face. "I should have seen it all before. Actually, I think I did. I just chose to ignore it, until I wasn't able too. I think… I think it was one of the reasons I left…It was- It was always Lisa, wasn't it?"

He pondered her question for a moment, before finally answering. "I don't know. They have the strangest relationship."

She laughed sincerely this time. "Yes, they have. The strangest, yet the closest."

She finished her cold, bitter coffee not grimacing, then stood up, smiling again. "It was good- _enlightening_ to speak with you. I think I need some time for myself now. To think about it all. I hope we'll keep in touch." She said, nodding at him. He nodded in return watching her retreating back.

He thought about the things he had said to her. Yes, it hadn't been easy for them, _and_ for him. Stacy's leaving had put them all at a turning point of life. They hadn't known what it would bring for them, but they need to take it. He could remember when he was first faced with this turning point of their lives, not his life, but _theirs_.

xxx

"_Lisa's pregnant."_

"_huh? Ugh-ekh-ekh-" you choke at the sudden admission form your best mate. The beer you've just drunk spitting from your nose as you try to regain your breathing. Did you just heard right? Lisa Cuddy, as the Dean of Medicine in Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital pregnant? "Come again?" you ask weakly in a higher voice, still trying to embrace this startling news._

"_Lisa's pregnant." House repeats, his sentence in the same flat tone he used before. He didn't change his position gazing in some far point on the wall of his living room. The two of you are sitting on the couch in his apartment, a beer in you hands. _

_You wonder if this was the thing House wanted- needed to talk to you about. You had a feeling there was something big when he called you an hour ago asking to share a beer in his apartment. You didn't share beers in a long time, and surely, not _after_ the infarction. But today he asked you to come. And you did, wondering what it was all about. But right now you are in shock to care much, though. _

"_How… how do you know this?" you ask him still in that high shocked voice of yours. "Did you break into her house or something?"_

"_She told me." He's still using a flat tone, trying to keep as much distance from it all, you suppose, and you frown at this. He should have shown more emotions, gloating, or disbelieve, throw some sarcastic and usually very mean comments about it, behave in this normal way of his (that he showed for the past two months since his sudden change). But he doesn't. Just tells you in that not-sounding-like-his-voice that she had told him. Wait-a-sec-_

"_She told you? Why would she tell- House, who's the father?" you ask warily, that conversation with Cuddy almost two months ago flashing before your eyes. You straighten watching him carefully, when he didn't answer you immediately. His silence more telling then anything else. _

"_House!" you can't believe this. "You- you've got to be kidding me!" you laugh disbelievingly, yet it sounds somehow hollow, as you realize you _do_ believe this. That one morning in the lobby after the not-discussed weekend, the sudden shift in their relationship after it, his resuming the rehab, her unwillingness to tell you how she had managed to convince him… it all makes sense now. _

"_What… What are you going to do about it?" you ask him carefully when the stretching pause between the two of you becomes unbearable. _

"_I don't know." He replies quietly then takes a swish from his beer "I don't know." He pauses "Fuck! Why did it have to happen?" _

_You watch his outburst carefully trying to read his real emotions. There is more to this then he has told you so far. He puts his head in his hands and exhale deeply. You see the burden on his shoulders, that hadn't been there for the past two months, return again. And you want to help him as much as you can. _

"_What's Lisa planning to do?" you ask, trying a different approach. Maybe this will tell you how to advice … help him. _

"_She's going to keep it. Told me she's not going to kill anyone."_

"_You asked her to abort?" you ask appalled before you can stop yourself. _

"_What? No! She just _assumed_ I'm going to propose this solution!" he sounds suddenly angry… hurt and you watch him in wonder. _

"_How … how do you fit in all of this?" _

_He glances at you briefly then fixes his eyes on the wall before him. "She told me she's going to have the baby no matter what I decide. She thought I had a right to know. To decide what I want."_

"_And… what do you want?" _

_He doesn't answer you for a long time, just sitting there unmoving, and you lose hope he's going to say anything. You sigh mentally, preparing yourself to do more pestering, when-_

"_Fuck!" he throws the beer he was holding across the room and you flinch at the crashing noise it makes. "I don't know what I want. I don't!" he gets up using his cane, his movements more and more graceful, as he gets used to the cane with each passing day. His face constricts in pain, but it doesn't stop him from pacing. "It was not planned! I was not. She just came to me one night, we argued and it happened!" he vents out and you realize he needs this; needs to tell it someone, to get it all out. He doesn't see you anymore as he gets lost in his thoughts and emotions and you watch him carefully. "I never wanted to be a father! Never thought I'll be one! Never planned it! How- how can I be one? I don't want to be like him! I _won't_ be like him!" his voice rises and you wonder what that all is supposed to mean. But before you could ponder it more, he continues. "It's all so wrong! This kid shouldn't have me as a father! I'm crippled! I'm miserable! I'm in constant need of a strong pain reliever. I can't be- it can't be!" you hear the miserable, self-loathing, and- and defeated undertones to his voice and you frown at this; is he trying to convince you or himself? _

"_House!" you interrupt him, no longer able to listen to him, wanting to put him out of his misery. He looks at you surprised as if seeing you for the first time. You sigh, keeping his gaze forcefully. "House. What. Do. You. Want?" you ask slowly and he looks at you caught of guard. You see something flicker in his eyes, before he masks it, but you're not able to tell what it was exactly. Then he bristles. _

"_I _don't_ want to be a father! I _don't_ want Cuddy to be a Mother! I don't want things to change! I _don't!!_" he shouts at you, petulantly. _

"_Things are going to change anyway." You answer him, barely able to stay calm, and you can see that your calm attitude angers him more. _

"_I don't want- won't take this responsibility!" he screams._

"_But can't you live with that?" you deadpan, and something flickers in his eyes again, before he looks down. His shoulders flop, and he slouches, spent. Lifeless. He sits down subdued and you war with yourself if you should ask the next question or not. _

"_House…"_

"_Don't!" he says briskly, getting up again and heading to his bedroom. He closes himself there and you watch the doors unhappy. As if you had failed. Both him and her…_

_You don't speak with House for the rest of the night. You don't mention this conversation in the morning, not ever. But few weeks later, you catch House with Cuddy when they think no one is looking. They leave OB room with a strange serene …warm look in their eyes while they exchange a glance. And you feel that all in all, you hadn't failed. And that everything's going to be alright. _

xxx

Wilson sat in the cafeteria, lost in his memories. He hoped that Stacy's coming back wouldn't bring any more trials for House and Cuddy. They deserved their happiness, and little Mikey shouldn't have gone through more hardships than he already had. _None_ of them should.

He sighed, finishing the cold tea that went with his salad, then smiled involuntary. House was doing a lecture! A lecture! It's amazing what Cuddy was able to make him do…

BEEP, BEEP!

Wilson jumped slightly at the shrill noise and checked his cell phone.

_Meet me in the side corridor of the lecture hall in five minutes. H._

He frowned, fingering the little device. That didn't sound good. He got up sighing heavily. He only hoped House knew and _truly_ appreciated what he got so far in his life.

He left the cafeteria, heading to the lecture hall.

xxx

End of part three

xxx

_I hope you'll find the time to tel__l me what you like/don't like about this story. It will make my day. It will help me improve._

_But most of all I hope you've enjoyed the chapter. :_


	4. Greg

**Title**: You can't always get what you want  
**Pairings**: Not tellin'! :P  
**Genre**: Drama/Angst  
**Warnings**: Somewhat AU (more like "What if..." story)  
**Rating**: PG-13  
**Chapter**: 4/5  
**Word** **Count**: 6207  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own House M.D. nor the characters.  
**Summary**: What if Stacy wasn't the only who was married? The title explains it all. A 5 parts story.

A/N: _Hello! :)_

_Here is another chapter. Hope you'll like it. It was very hard to write this. I still don't think I've done House the justice in this chapter. Hopefully you won't find him OOC. _

_Thank you to all that has reviewed. It means a lot. _**Janina, huddychild, not lupus, iamawallflower, kharmon4, scheggia, ratka**_ this chapter for you. _

_There is only one chapter left after this. Then I'm going to write a different story (the plot bunny just won't stop _bugging _me!) And I should start the sequel for this. Stay tuned :D_

_And now, enjoy the chapter. XD _

xxx

Chapter four – Greg

xxx

"What say we take five?" House looked at the students before him. The class had filled during his lecture and he couldn't help the small feeling of pride. He still had it in himself to attract and interest those overly-partying students. "Get some coffee, go pee." He turned to the left, where the exit for professors were situated and left the lecture hall as students started to talk excitedly among themselves. He knew Wilson would be already waiting for him in the lounge as he was asked to do.

He _really_ needed a friend right now. Not that he was going to admit it to anyone. _Ever_. And as much as he'd like to talk with Lisa, he knew that it wouldn't be the wisest thing to do. He could tell how much Stacy's sudden return has affected him, and he knew it must have affected her as well. The painful memories from five years ago were coming back and bringing the ones form last year with them. No… he shouldn't talk with Lisa. Not yet.

He really tried just to _not care_, be indifferent to Stacy's return, yet he couldn't. In a way he was grateful for the lecture that Cuddy has forced him to do. He hoped it would help him by taking his mind off that painful time. He should have known better, dammit. He wasn't able to put those memories away, lock them in the furthest corner of his mind and never again browsing through them. When he opened his mouth at the beginning of the lecture, when the first words left his mouth he knew where this was all heading to. That he was going to take a road down the avenue of the memories that he hadn't wanted to take, hadn't taken in a while.

_Dammit_! He thought he was over her. He thought it was all in the past. He should have known better! He should have seen this might happen someday! That it was not over, just looming in the background to attack when he allowed his guard down. He always felt _something_ toward Stacy. Always choose to ignore it, feeling secure and content with his life with Lisa and Mikey. But now …now Stacy had retuned and rocked his life upside down.

Yeah, he really needed someone to talk right now…

Wilson was sitting already on the small bench, facing the doors to the lecture hall, a coffee in his hand. House watched him carefully, looking for any signs if his friend knew what this was all about. _Ah, yes_. Yes, he did. There was this strange gleam in Jimmy's eyes, a mixture of softness and hardiness, the one that appeared whenever he felt compassion at him yet knew he had to be strong, saying what's right over what's easy. Yes, James Wilson has already met StacyHudson.

"So, what's up?" Wilson quipped trying to act nonchalantly. House smirked amusedly.

"Nice try, buster. I know you've seen her already."

Wilson looked at him sharply, then his shoulders flopped down resignedly, only to straighten once more. He looked back at him, his eyes hardening. Yes, talking with Jimmy was a very good idea. He already felt better. He turned out the small voice of guilt at the thought of Lisa and what she was probably going through right now. It was better this way. The both of them were probably in very vulnerable state and knowing their explosive temperaments, things might be said that would be regretted later. And they really didn't need _that_.

"So have a nice catching up with the _wasteful_ _daughter_?" He asked Wilson sitting down on the other small bench facing the corridor. He winced inwardly at the bitter undertones when he had spoken Stacy's new nickname. And Wilson had probably caught it, judging by the frown on his forehead. House's good mood was sipping away with each second. Maybe he didn't needed this talk after all…

"You…" Wilson hesitated and it was House's turn to frown. "You do know she wants you to treat her husband?" he asked tentatively watching House's reaction.

_A husband?_ That was news to him! He knew Wilson was watching him like a hawk for any kind of reaction, but he didn't care. He didn't even know what his face was showing, as he wasn't even sure what he was really _feeling_. A mixture of coldness, heaviness and light-headiness at the same time. His stomach was dripping down as a welcomed numbness began to sip in.

"You didn't know this?" Wilson asked alarmed. His voice sounding a bit panicky, but he swallowed recovering quickly.

"No." his voice was flat, sounding not at all like his, and the creasers on Wilson's forehead deepened.

"You didn't think she was going to get married?" he asked wearily, almost exasperatedly.

"I've never thought about it" House shot back then bristled at Wilson's disbelieving look. "Frankly, I had _others_ on my mind for the past five years." He cringed inwardly at his harsh tone, yet he couldn't help it. He was hurt. And angry. Hurt that Stacy's has moved on, that he was not _as_ important as he thought he had been. And angry at her for coming back and destroying the balance; angry at himself for being this affected by it.

"So what? _Now_ you're going to think about it? And what's that going to bring?" it was Wilson's turn to bristle. House just wasn't sure what _exactly_ his friend was angry about.

"Maybe." He replied stalling.

"Ma… _Maybe_? House! _What_ are you planning to do?" Wilson asked slowly, and his voice held a warning.

"About the husband? I'm not sure yet."

"_House_." A warning. "Her husband's sick. He needs treatment."

"There's probably nothing wrong with him." He tried to reason, not sure himself what was he really getting at.

"Oh, sure, that makes sense. She's just using the old 'sick husband' routine as an excuse to get back in touch with you." House shot him a glare. "You think this is easy for her? The only reason she'd be anywhere near you was if she was desperate." Wilson said exasperatedly and House wondered what his friend had been really talking about with Stacy.

"So I should help her because she's desperate."

"You should help her because the husband's a patient." Wilson deadpanned. House got the real meaning. _You should treat him – treat _her_ – just like anyone else. Keep the distance._

"I'm not sure I want to." He said; too much truth in this sentence.

"What?" Wilson looked up at him, startled.

"I'm not sure I want him to live" He said in a grave voice, and continued before Wilson even was able to open his mouth. "I just don't know if it's because I want to be with her or if it's because I want her to suffer."

"Oh, boy…" Wilson whispered in a grave voice, but before he could grill House more-

"Uh, Dr. House?" the Keen One as House has christened him, cut in. He was standing in the doorframe with two other students behind him and pointed at his watch. "It's been almost six minutes." House just sighed inwardly and looked back at Wilson. He could see the protective gleam in his best friend's eyes and knew that Wilson's not going to support him, but would focus on Lisa and Mikey. House couldn't help but feel the small amount of gratitude at his friend's protectiveness. Wilson, despite being his friend, cared for them first of all. He wished he could put them first as easy as Wilson has done…

He followed the students, his mind going back to that turning point, when he promised he'd be there for Lisa and Mikey. He'd never felt the burden of that promise more heavily than in that moment.

xxx

"_You're leaving" your voice is low as you watch her carefully. She has jumped, startled by your sudden appearance in her office. She clearly has _not_ expected you here. She turned quickly to you, an accusation in her eyes. _

"_What are you doing here? The doors were closed." She says, putting the manila file in front of her chest as if some kind of a barrier. You frown at this, clearly understanding her body language, but choose not to comment. _

"_It has never stopped me before." You shot back, and it's her turn to frown. _

"_Why are you here?" she growls annoyed, and you can see the tense air around her, see that her guard is set up higher then usually, and it's _not_ settling well with you. Those defenses of hers._

"_You. Are. Leaving." You repeat slowly, emphasing each word, watching her every move carefully. She doesn't even flinch under your gaze. _

"_And?"_

"_During a lunch break." You state as if it was obvious, but she doesn't seem to get it. _

"_It's a lunch break. I _can_ leave on a lunch break, you know?" she says as if speaking to a half-wit. "To, I don't know, have a _lunch_." she says sarcastically. She's more annoyed than you've predicted her to be. _

"_You don't eat much on a lunch break. Just like you don't eat much on breakfast. _Nothing_ is the better word." Your voice is smug. "You can't hold it. Morning sickness." You touch a taboo between the both of you and she flinches, hugging the manila file to her chest tightly. _

_Since she had told you about the baby and that she was going to keep it, the both of you have never spoken about it. The tension between you is so tick that it could be served with a knife whenever the two of you are together in the same room. Everyone can feel it; maybe that's why they scoot away as soon as they can, leaving the both of you alone. Even Wilson is avoiding you whenever you come to close proximity with each other. _

_But that doesn't concern you much. Right now you are all bothered by Cuddy. You can feel her distancing herself form you. Withdrawing from your daily encounters. Oh, she spars and bickers with you all the same, she's just- just not wholeheartedly in it as she used to be. And it bothers you. _

_It bothers you more than Stacy's distant behavior before and after the infarction. Bothers you more than Wilson's latest marriage; bothers you more than a random unsolved puzzle. And …and when you lay in bed late at night, the insomnia (and pain in your tight) preventing you from falling asleep, you admit to yourself that the cold ache in your heart is plain and simple fear. Fear of her abandoning you, abandoning you just like Stacy has done. Yet, somehow …somehow the thought of _her_ leaving is _unbearable; _even more than the thought of Stacy's ever was. And it does _not_ make you comfortable. _

_Cuddy's watching you warily, not sure what are going or planning to do. And you don't blame her. After all you've been playing enough strange games with her during the time the both of you were acquainted, were friends. Yet- you can't feel guilty about it either. It's the way you are and she knows it. She opens her mouth to say something but you interrupt her. _

"_Funny thing I learned today, passing Johnson's office today." You say casually, noting her every little gesture. "Guess what? She's not going to lunch break today. Told her assistant she's having a meeting." You watch her face pale at the OB's name and you smirk inwardly, even if your face stays its usual carefree, jerk-ish like. _Gotcha!

"_Interesting." you continue, still watching her. "You, who doesn't leave hospital before ten pm, let alone for a lunch break, is doing it _today_, and Johnson, who never skips her lunch is not going to hers _today_. What a coincidence!" you're all innocent, falling easily into your usual game with her. You squash the small voice of reason trying to tell you it's not the best way to get what you've really came here for. _

_She watches you for a moment unmoving, caught off guard, then bristles, her cheeks reddening in anger. She already knows you are aware of her appointment with her OB in fifteen minutes, yet she's not going to leave it unanswered. _

"_What do you want, House?" she grits through her teeth, and despite the not a small thrill at seeing her so beautifully flushed and glowing in anger, you can't help the small pang of guilt and remorse. Angering her won't help you with your real reason for coming here. _

_Something in you eyes must have flickered, because suddenly her look softened, eyes boring into yours. "House?" she asks you, the manila file dropping to her side. She doesn't approach you and you sever the eye connection, looking all over her office. You feel suddenly quite vulnerable and you hate that feeling. _

"_I'm here to torment you, what do you think?" you snap at her, your voice harsh. She doesn't even flinch, just sighs resignedly, looking suddenly very tired. _

"_Then come back later." Her voice is weary and she rubs her temples. "As you already know I've an appointment in less than fifteen minutes." _

"_No, I didn't know this, but you've just told me." you deadpan, and she just glares at you. Without any comment she just starts to gather her things, getting ready to leave her office. _

_You watch her carefully, silently, the air closing on you, contracting your lungs, getting thicker and thicker with each passing second. Somehow you know it's now or never. You have to take this step now or otherwise you'll never have a chance to do so. You have to do something. You grip your cane, knuckles turning white._

"_I want you to close the doors with a key, when you'll be leaving." She tells you in a flat tone, as she turns to the office double door._

A turning point._ There is no longer any time to play your games. No time for this strange 'seek and hide' of yours, no time to avoid your emotions, no time to be a coward…_

"_Cuddy." You speak, your voice soft. She stops before the doors, not turning back. You can see the anticipation, mixed with not a small amount of defenses in her posture, while she waits for you to continue. "I… I-" the hesitation in your voice makes her look back at you intensely. "I never planned to be a father." You blurt out finally, looking back at her. Your eyes lock with hers, as she turns to face you properly, watching you carefully. "I'm not your typical guy with a stable life. You know, short tempered, impulsive, in pain. I can't- won't promise I'll be Seven Heaven Dad. I-I…" why can it never go as easy as on those stupid soap operas, you like to watch? Why can't you express it all rightly, like you want to – like she deserves? Why-_

"_You don't have to promise this." She says, approaching you; standing so close your chests almost touch. She looks deeply into your eyes, searching. "You just have to promise you'll be there. The way you are. Nothing more." She hesitates then continues softly but in a strong way. "Just the way you are. Always."_

_A promise? A promise for being there always? Does she even realize what she's asking you for? _

_You don't answer her for a long moment. Just watching her eyes, her face. You've been watching, _memorizing_ her for over fifteen years now. She's the only constant in your life, the only person that has never left you. _…a constant in your life…_ But- but can _you_ be a constant in hers? Can you be there always? Can you promise her this?_

…………"I don't want- won't take this responsibility!" _…………_"But can't you live with that?"_…………_

_Wilson's voice echoes in your head, a sudden flashback to that conversation few days ago. Can you live with yourself? Can you live knowing the child is yours but never be a part of its' life? Can you _not_-be a part of Cuddy- Lisa's life? You two have always been a part of your lives. Always a constant, even if in the background… always a constant since the day you've first met… always a constant…_

"_I…promise," you whisper. And she smiles. A real smile since she has told you about the baby. You watch each other silently, then she turns to the doors._

"_Come on, we've appointment in less than five minutes." She says over her shoulder, and you watch her leaving. You shake your head at the sudden lightening around your heart. A sense of _right_ you have never felt before settles into you soul. The corners of your mouth lifting slightly. _

"_I'm not going to any maternity shopping with you! I have a male pride to maintain!" a pause "Wilson will go!" You shout after her, and when she laughs, you follow her nonetheless. _

xxx

"Because of the extent of the muscle removed, utility of the patient's leg was severely compromised." The lecture hall was completely silent. Each set of eyes fixed on the doctor sitting before them, watching as he fidgeted with his cane, and absorbing his words hungrily. "Because of the time delay in making the diagnosis, patient continues to experience chronic pain." He spoke it slowly, bitterly; the memories of that time still painful. There was a pause, until the Caring One started reproachfully.

"She had no right to do that."

"She had the proxy." The Rebellious one argued. And House looked up at the students, interested in this quarrel. The whole lecture hall was filled till the last free seat. He could see Wilson sitting next to the Ducklings, their faces solemn.

"She knew he didn't want the surgery." The girl argued her point.

"She saved his life!"

"Well, we don't know that." The Keen One tried to find a middle ground. "Maybe he would have been fine –"

"It doesn't matter. It's the patient's call." Apparently the Caring One didn't go for the middle.

"The patient's an idiot." It was an exasperated rebuke, and it made House half-laugh ironically.

"They usually are." He interrupted the argument. He looked up at the class again. "Do you have a buzzer or something. What time does this class end?"

"Twenty minutes ago." His heart gave an involuntary jump at hearing _her_ voice. He looked up to the right. She was leaning on the doorframe casually, a smile on her face. He watched her for a moment, admiring the pink outfit she chose for the day. He always thought pink looked good on her. Especially if it was the underwear, he smirked inwardly. He looked down then got up. He could hear the buzz of the better informed students passing the knowledge of the Dean and Diagnostician's marriage to the less informed ones. He ignored them.

"I'm not doing this again." he told her, picking up the 'World's greatest dad' mug and walking toward Cuddy. "And this guy is not the world's greatest dad. Not even ranked." Their eyes locked, and he could see hers twinkling mirthfully. He could read the glint in them clearly as _we already now you're the 'world's greatest dad'._ He ignored that as well, heading to the doors. "Who the hell lets their kids play with lead-based paint?" she looked at him surprised, as gave her the mug. "That's why he's always sick. Find him some plastic cups and the class is all his again."

He passed her, leaving behind a full room of shellshocked students. He stopped in the corridor, knowing she'd follow him in a moment, after collecting her wits and all. He smirked.

"I'm sure I'll find a way to make you reconsider giving up on this class." She said coyly, as she walked past him with a more pronounced sway to her hips, solely for his enjoyment. He could feel the passion roar within him with a primal need. She _really_ shouldn't be doing that! Especially when she demanded to maintain the professional aspect of their relationship in the hospital.

"I'm sure you will. Actually, I'm _hoping_ for it." He quipped, limping after her and admiring her backside. He stopped when she did, noticing the tension in the way she held her shoulders, trying to control her breathing. She turned to look at him, her face looking solemn, all playfulness gone form her eyes.

"Stacy's waiting for you in the cafeteria." She said quietly, her eyes searching his. "Her husband needs your diagnosis."

They watched each other silently for a moment; he could see the damage last year has left in her. The vulnerability and insecurity still evident in her eyes, and his heart clenched.

He was never a man of word, more like a man of action. He took a step toward her, his hand sneaking around her, resting comfortably on her hip. He leaned the cane on his leg, and put the other hand on her face, tucking the insubordinate lock behind her ear. She closed her eyes at his touch, her face softening, relaxing, …absorbing the reassurance he was providing. He lowered his mouth to hers, and she unusually allowed him to kiss her in the open corridor.

The kiss was tender, promising, and short. They opened their eyes, faces still inches apart, soft smiles exchanged, as one set of eyes searched the others.

"I'll be ready in twenty minutes." She said stepping away from him, his hand catching the cane, before it landed on the floor with a clatter. "We're supposed to meet Mikey during lunch."

"Any chance to get the dessert later?" he asked, wriggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"The chance is always there." She said, heading down the corridor, the swaying of her hips already back as she walked away.

"Then let's skip the lunch at all!" he shouted after her and she laughed.

"Stacy's waiting and then so is Mikey. And you still have Clinic duty later." She never stopped in her walk, and he limped behind her.

"But I did the lecture!" he told her childishly.

"And you'll get two hours less of Clinic duty, which still leaves you with two hours of working." She said heading the elevators. "Stacy. In cafeteria. Then Mikey in twenty minutes." She said, disappearing behind the elevators door. He just shook his head, a soft smile on his face as he turned to the cafeteria.

He had run into Stacy in the lobby. Clearly, she had left the cafeteria at some point.

"Greg." She said awkwardly, yet a soft smile graced her face. His heart stirred and it made him cranky.

"Hello, Stacy. _Lisa's_ told me you need my help." He said grudgingly, his emotions running in high gear. Her smile flattened at Cuddy's name and she nodded curtly, exhaling.

"Y-yes, I do need your help." She handed him the films; he looked at her briefly, taking the film from her. A doctor from pediatrics almost ran into them, so he limped over to the clinic desk to take a look at the file.

"I presume it's your husband I'm looking at, right?" he asked not looking at her, very aware of her observing him carefully, _absorbing_ him.

"Yeah, it is." She replied softly. There was a short pause as he examined the films and medical history.

"He is suffering abdominal pain and fainting spells." He took up the film and looked at them more, his voice is casual. "No sign of tumors, no vasculitis. Could be indigestion, or maybe a kidney stone. A little one, can pack a lot of wallop." He adds in his usual tone.

"Did you think I wasn't going to get married?" she asked, catching him off guard. He looked at her, angrily, and could see that it was a spontaneous question on her part, yet she did not withdraw it.

"Well, did you think I wasn't?" he shot back acidly, then walked off, already feeling her following him.

"There is no kidney stone, no indigestion." She insisted, keeping _very _close proximity to him, and he stopped himself from gritting his teeth. "Three hospitals, five doctors, not one of them found anything."

"Well, maybe there's nothing to be found." He rebuked her, never stopping. He didn't want to deal with her. Not right now. Not ever.

"Right, you suddenly trust doctors, love puppies and long walks in the rain." She told him sarcastically, not giving up. She must be really in need of his help.

"The walks are out." He said, but she grabbed his arm stopping him. He cursed inwardly, the contact was _not_ welcomed.

And suddenly his emotions cleared up. It all made sense now. He was such a fool! Sure, he still felt something toward Stacy; a grudge because she had not respected his wishes, acted against his will, betrayed him. And he still felt the affections he had for her. The memories were still present in his mind. He was with her for five years it was hard to just forget that time.

But- but in this moment when she grabbed him he realized it was all in the past. _She_ was the past. She would always hold a small part of his heart he supposed. But even that paled in comparison to what he felt toward his wife; to what he had always felt toward Lisa. Be it an annoyance, anger, fear, tenderness, compassion, …love, it was always ten folds stronger to what he had ever felt for Stacy. _I'm over her_, he realized _just like that_. It's so easy to let her go. He didn't suppose it would ever be easy to let Lisa go, tough…

It struck him that he _was_ more then content with his life now. He was _happy. _He had Lisa. And he had Mikey. And he planed to keep them as long as possible. Keeping that promise he had given five years ago had never appeared to be easier task then in that moment. He could not believe he had doubts earlier.

"I was around you long enough to know when something's not right." Stacy insisted again, rushing with her explanation, trying to make him see her point. "Mark's had personality changes, he's acting strange, disconnected…"

"Interesting. It means there's either a neurological component or he's having an affair." He shot back not giving up so easily.

"No affair, no nothing! He's sick!" her eyes were tearing up, her voice desperate, and his heart softened. A sudden image of Lisa on a hospital bed flashed before his eyes, and he looked away. He _knew_ he'd help Stacy. "I know you're not too busy; you avoid work like the plague. Unless it actually is the plague." She said exasperatedly. Then her voice softened, sounding vulnerable, pleading. He thought he'd be gloating in this moment. When she came back to beg him for a favor. But he's not. Even she didn't deserve this. "I'm asking you a favor." He exhaled.

"I'm not too busy, and I _am_ going to help you. If you hadn't left back then, I wouldn't be happy now." She flinched at this, but he ignored it. It was the truth. "I've got an opening in my calendar for 10 tomorrow morning. Make sure your husband won't be late." She nodded at him, a teary smile on her face. He just curtsied. "It's good seeing you again." He left her there, peaceful feeling in his heart.

His life had turned well. He was happy. _Content_. He would not exchange this life for anything else. His mind wandered to that one evening, when he confirmed his choice of this life. The memory was still vivid in his mind as if it had happened mere minute ago and not over four years.

xxx

"_House! You are NOT touching me ever again!" __Cuddy grits through her teeth; her face is pale and shining drops of sweat slide down her forehead down to her nose to land on her chest finally. She breathes heavily. Her dark curls are wet and plastered to her head, some strands covering her exhausting-looking face. She is sending draggers at you with her glossy eyes, but you just watch her unmoving, not exactly processing what's really going on. _

_It should make you smirk, seeing her that fierce even in this hard time. It probably would have taking any other situation, but right now, with Cuddy laying on the bed and huffing, all you can feel is amazement. Amazement at the pain resistance in woman's body, amazement at the sheer amount of will and love for putting herself through all this._

"_House! You'd better got here, or else-" You don't allow her to finish as you scramble to her bedside as fast as you can, using your disfigured leg. You put your hand on hers, and she grasps it immediately. You don't even flinch at the deadly clasp you hand is prisoned in. If this is going to help her, you're more than willing to provide it. _

_The contraction passed and she slumps besides you, controlling her breathing as she was taught to do. Your hand itches to brush the hairs out of her face, and you don't care if the nurse (what's her name? Belinda, Berna, Bertha?) is watching; you give in, caressing Cuddy's cheek softly in the process. _

_Her eyes flicker to yours and your heart clenches. It has been flopping and fluttering quite a lot recently at the sight of this wonderful, strong woman, lying in front of you, and you find yourself liking the warm, soft, fussy feeling it causes inside you._

_You hiss when Cuddy clenches your hand involuntary once again, as another contraction hits her. Your thumb cares her knuckles and you pray that everything will be alright, even if you don't believe in God. _

"_Your contractions are definitely closer together," A new voice came, and you look up to see Dr Johnson, checking on Cuddy. "Ten centimeters," she informs the both of you, but the words don't exactly register in your mind. "It's only a matter of time now." When had she come in you don't know. You flinch again as another contraction hits Cuddy, but say nothing. _

_You look down at her. Her eyes are squeezed, her body bend forward, as she tries not to push yet. There is a thin sheen of sweat covering her now and her skin had taken on a pinkish hue. A lone sweat drop slides down her face slowly trailing from her left temple down her cheek to the corner of her mouth. She puffs, trying to regulate her breathing enough to ease the pain._

"_Ok, Lisa. When next contraction hits you, I want a big push, alright?"_

"_Alright." She gasps squeezing your hand once more, this time lightly. _

_This is it. This is the moment the baby's going to get out, to be a part of this world, a part of _your_ world. Your breath quickens, your palms sweat, every sound around you turns off and you watch the scene before you, not comprehending exactly what's going on. You see Johnson telling Cuddy something as she bends before her, ready to deliver the baby. You see the nurses with towels ready to gather the small kid when it's finally here. You see it all before you, yet you don't process it. As if you've been standing far away watching on a mute old movie. _

_You look down at Cuddy- no, _Lisa_ in daze, as if seeing her for the first time. You see the marvelous little woman she really is. Just like the day when your eyes landed on her for the first time all those years ago… just like the day when you first possessed her, not long after that… just like the day when you first realized you love her…_

_All you can see is her, bending forward, with pain attached to her face, as she pushes. You register the pain in your hand that is still clenched in hers, but it's coming from far away. All that matters is Lisa. Her eyes that are squeezed shut, tears mixing with sweat. Teeth gritted in last hopes of preventing the upcoming pain. Lone strands of her dark hair sticking to her face, covering it in disheveled manner. Another drop of sweat falling down her nose and cleavage and-_

"_Marry me." You heard yourself say dazedly. Your voice is soft and husky, thick and full of emotions, and you realize in this moment that that's what you _really _want. What you've always wanted on some unconscious level. The simplicity and rightfulness hits you like a truck, and you're not withdrawing the question. _

"_What?" she gasps startled, then cringes in pain. _

"_Dr House! You can't distract Lisa now!" Johnson admonishes you, her scolding contradicted by the wide happy smile on her face. "Not even with this important question!"_

"_What?!" Lisa explodes still huffing. "You want me – _puff_ – to marry you?! – _puff_ – To give you – _puff_ – legal access to me?! – _puff_ – To let you do – _puff_ – this to me again?! – _puff_ – Not a freaking chanc- ahhh!"_

"_Now Lisa, push. I see the baby's crowning. Come on Lisa you can do it." Johnson is all serous now. _

_You watch numbly, as Lisa bends forward once more, eyes shut, tears mixed with sweat. You've never seen her more beautiful, giving birth to another human being. You barely acknowledge the pain in you hands, though you doubt you'll play the piano ever again. You're sure she's drawn blood with her nails but you don't care. _

_You see the nurse shout something, getting ready with towels, but you don't hear her. Everything is slowing down, all sound dies, as you see Lisa's stomach flopping painfully slow. You hold back your breath, a ringing in your ears, heart pounding rapidly, eyes widening until-_

_The strong unsatisfied scram announcing the baby's arrival register in your mind. Everything starts their normal motion again, and the hustle and bustle of the hospital room hits you with a force. You ignore it, eyes solely focused on the small being in Brenda's (Bertha's? Berna's?) arms, as she presents it to Lisa. _

_You watch Lisa, taking lovingly the small bundle, all pain she had went through mere minute ago, already forgotten in the sheer happiness of seeing her firstborn. She glows, a soft look in her eyes, as she admires the small miracle. And she's even more beautiful then before. She looks like those women who are born to giving births, who could go through this all over again in less then a year. _Oh, boy…_ crosses your mind, but before you can dwell on it, the child – _your child –_ dominates all your coherent thoughts shortly after. _

"_Congratulations on your son, Dr Cuddy" the nurse says to Lisa then turns toward the doors. "Dr, House" she nods, passing you._

_You think you've nodded back but you're not sure. All you do is watch the Mother and Son with wide eyes. _

"_Yes." You snap back form your daze looking up at Lisa, not understanding her. She's watching you with a smile then tilts her head at your blank face, her hand stroking lovingly the boy's cheek. "Yes, I'll marry you." You still don't move, unable to do so, and she laughs lightly, exchanging her hand to you._

"_Sit down" she says wriggling her hand at you "and meet your son, Michael House." You sit heavily on the hospital chair, right next to her bedside._ Did she…? Did she just-

"_Mikey" Lisa's voice is soft, warm, yet holds some serious undertones. "Meet your father."_

_Your hand sneaks involuntary to Mikey's stomach, and the small baby closes his fist around your thumb. His small and pianist-long (you note absentmindedly …wonderingly) fingers are so delicate while he watches you trustingly. You look up at Lisa overwhelmed by your emotions. There are tears in her eyes as she smiles beautifully at you. Your heart swells with this warm, fuzzy, tenderness and somehow… somehow the fact that you are crippled with a chronic pain in your leg doesn't matter anymore. _

_There is future you can look forward too. _

Xxx

"You _know_ it's not good to make Mikey wait" Cuddy's voice echoed in his ears, bringing him back form his memories, and he turned toward her.

"He's four. He wouldn't notice."

"He's your son. He notices everything." She rebuked smugly and it made him smirk. They moved to the elevators, to ride up to the pediatric wing, where Mikey's playing room was situated.

"Yeah, yeah, you always throw this argument at me. As if it was a something bad." He said enjoying their little game.

"He's four and he already noticed that Wilson's not happy with his wife, learned how many bones humans have with their _Latin_ names, and knows there is no Santa Claus."

"So? He shouldn't be lied to." He said confidently. The both of them entered the elevator.

"He's four. He should have child's innocence." She said.

"You were innocent as a child?" he asked, acting all surprised. She just looked at him pointedly. "Because I hardly believe you were a child."

"_Touché_." The elevator stopped, and she walked out. "You going?" she asked over her shoulder, already in the hospital corridor.

"Always _behind_ you." He said smugly, and she just shook her head, smiling. He limped after her with a smirk on his face, enjoying the view.

xxx

end of part four

xxx

_Before any of you start flaming me for the over__-sappiness and OOC-ness of this chapter, keep in mind that this-fic-House has five years worth of different experiences, thus is bound to be acting differently. _

_I hope you liked this chapter. Please tell me if it's good or not. _


	5. Stacy: A closure

**Title:** You can't always get what you want  
**Pairings**: the sexiest one ever ;)  
**Genre**: Drama/Angst  
**Warnings**: Somewhat AU (more like "What if..." story)  
**Rating**: PG-13  
**Chapter**: 5/5  
**Word** **Count**: 2438  
**Disclaimer**: I don't own House M.D. nor the characters.  
**Summary**: What if Stacy wasn't the only who was married? The title explains it all. A 5 parts story.

A/N _Hello :)_

_First of all, sorry for the delay… RL was really painful lately, then the new episodes were aired and, well, I didn't have time to type it until today. This is the last part. The whole story was born because of this part, mainly because of the __last scene__. I hope you'll like this ending. _

_I'm going to write the sequel, just not right now. There are some post 4 Season finale plot bunnies jumping around me and I'd like to explore them first. _

_Thank you to all that has reviewed: _**glicine, HouseFan88, kharmon4, Aerys, ana, scheggia, yoeman.prince, not lupus, Mim, Addicted1, starkidtw, XBeth, not lupus, Huddychild.** _Thanks to all that has waited patiently for this chapter to come. _

_Enjoy!_

xxx

Chapter Five – Stacy: A closure

Xxx

"Ok, so I'll see you in 20 minutes?"

"…"

"Sure, I'll be waiting in the parking lot."

"…"

"Love you, too. See you."

Stacy closed the connection and sighed heavily. She put her mobile phone into her purse looking around unhappily. She had spent the last forty minutes in the cafeteria, trying to busy herself with anything. Mark has been stuck in the traffic jam and wouldn't be able to pick her up for the next twenty minutes. She sighed exasperatedly and entered the lobby. She turned to the clinic and sat down on the nearest chair in the waiting area. There was no point of going to the parking lot for the next fifteen minutes.

A sudden commotion near the entrance to the lobby caught her attention. She turned a bit to watch it more closely. It was better than sitting doing nothing… She was surprised to see Lisa bursting in, her son's hand closed in hers, as she hurried to the nurses' desk. Greg was limping behind her at a slower but steady pace, his eyes looking solemn even if his face was passive, indifferent, the usual bored look on it.

"Brenda! There was a school bus accident and we're the closest hospital." Lisa started in her bossy, yet still quite worried tone. "I need you to page every available doctor and nurse. There were some severely wounded victims and all others would be needed to look at, too." She was full in her Administrative mode and Stacy admired the leading skill of one Lisa Cuddy.

Brenda's eyebrows furrowed with each word and before Cuddy had finished, she had the phone in her hand, already dialing numbers.

"I need you to page Andie as well." Lisa continued. "tell her to collect Mikey in the lobby. And keep an eye on him until she comes."

Brenda just nodded and Lisa turned toward her son. "Honey," she started in a serious tone "No leaving the lobby, no running away from Andie, no sneaking into the ER. Got it?"

"Yes, Mommy." The child replied solemnly, nodding to emphase he understood her instruction. He wasn't looking nervous or anything, more like used to all this. It was clear he knew the importance of his mother's words.

"We'll see you later, alright?"

"Yeah."

"Good." Lisa smiled at her son, then pointed to the waiting area. "Sit there and wait for Andie." She allowed the small boy to hug her, a tender look softening her worried features.

"Suwe, Mommy, I'ww behave." He said.

"I hope so." She said smiling and watched her son walk away. "Remember, no running into ER!" she yelled after him then turned to Brenda the Nurse, worry all over her face. "He shouldn't make any problems."

Greg just rolled his eyes exasperatedly at this comment. Brenda, who had sent him an annoyed look, spoke to Lisa for the fist time. "Don't worry, Dr Cuddy, I'm sure he'll be fine."

"Like always." Greg said sarcastically, then frowned a bit watching Lisa. Stacy could tell her shoulders tensed even more. An almost imperceptible movement on Greg' part caught her attention and she watched him carefully. It was a small gesture, that anyone, who didn't knew him as well as she did, would have probably missed. But not Stacy. She was able to see that small stretching of hand in Lisa's direction; its' grazing her arm lightly for a friction of time, squeezing lightly; than as soon as it was done, she saw the reappearing of said hand at his side as if nothing had happened.

But it had.

Stacy could see the change in Lisa immediately. She exhaled slowly, as her shoulders relaxed, her whole posture seeming reassured. Her eyes flickered to Greg's for a moment. He blinked back in a silent conversation they shared (just like all those years before, always using this strange language of their own, that no one else spoke…). The corners of her mouth lifted slightly. For a friction of time there were only the two of them, the world around tem disappearing.

And suddenly it was all over.

Stacy's breath hitched as she watched it all before her eyes. This little moment between them was so subtle, so quick and so _intimate_ that she felt suddenly very voyeuristic. She felt a pang in heart as she realized she could not remember a single time when Greg has reassured …comforted her. No… nothing like this has ever happened between them…

"The first victim should be here in less than five minutes." Brenda said checking her computer. She didn't seemed to notice anything, or rather… that small smile on her face… maybe… maybe she just was used to this subtle signs of affections… Stacy wasn't sure which it was.

"Yeah, we'd better get going." Lisa's said putting on the white lab coat. "You too, Mister!" she said, stabbing her long finger into Greg' chest. He just rolled his eyes again.

"Some people should know they are not mean to drive." He said, exaggerating his patronizing tone.

"If everyone was such a good driver as you…" Lisa mused sarcastically, a twinkle appearing in her eyes.

"I didn't have a bike accident-"

"Yet." She interrupted him, giving him a lab coat to put on.

"-Hey! I'm good at driving!" he said dignitantly, ignoring the lab coat.

"When you sleep."

"Only with you." He said wriggling his eyebrows. Lisa jut rolled her eyes, trying to conceal the small smile on her face.

"Put on the oat, and move" she went pass him, and he watched her backside adoringly for a second, then his face turned serious and he limped after her, coatless.

A movement to her right caught Stacy's attention. She looked there and found Mikey fidgeting two seats away. He noticed her looking at him, and stared back, his eyes narrowing. He looked so much like Lisa in that moment, that Stacy smiled involuntary.

"You've been watchin' them." He stated finally.

"What?" she stared at him, completely lost on what he was talking about.

"My pawents. You've been watchin' them." He repeated, tilting his head to his right. His expression an exact copy of Greg's whenever the Diagnostician was trying to figure out something. "You saw it too!" He exclaimed suddenly, startling her. She just gaped at him not sure what he meant by that.

"The touchin'. And looks. And ba…" he frowned, looking down and speaking to himself. "how did Andie call it? Ah! The bantew." he said staring at her again.

"I- I-" she was lost for words. Surely, this was one unique four year old!

"They do it quite a wot." He continued, ignoring her lack of response. His comment so casual, as if he was talking about a natural set of things, like Sun raising in the East, like night falling after the day, like his Mother and Father… "Not hewe, home mostly." He added, playing again with his toy stethoscope.

"Does it bother you?" she asked him, before she could stop herself, too curious to find out his answer.

"bo-ftew?" He asked confused.

"Does it, I don't know, make you all queasy inside, maybe unhappy?"

"No. Why?" he tilted his head again to the right. "I wike it." He continued before she could even open her mouth. "I wike it when they awe togethew , when I can sit between them watching the tewwy." His eyes brightened at this, then he got back to playing with his toy stethoscope again. "We do it a wot." He added then turned a bit from her. Clearly this conversation was over.

Stacy watched him in wonder, not sure what to say. The boy twirled the stethoscope around him, making wishing noises.

"Mikey!"

Stacy and the said boy looked up to see Andie the Nanny heading their way. She was a young girl but despite her petite posture you could sense a hidden strength within her. Yes, that was a person Greg would pick for taking care of his son.

"Mike, come here. We need to go to your room." the nanny said making the boy jump from his seat. He started toward her, then stopped suddenly. He turned in Stacy' direction and waved enthusiastically.

"Bye!" he said happily, and continued on skipping to the nanny.

"Bye." Stacy replied automatically, then smiled seeing Mikey tugging Andie's sweater.

"She saw it too." He said in a stage whisper, trying to be inconspicuous and failing miserably.

"Did she?" Andie looked back at her curiouly, clearly knowing what the boy was talking about. Then she flushed noticing they were being observed by Stacy.

"I towd you it's thewe." He said smugly and Andie just laughed.

"Sure it is. It's obvious!" she said, this time she tugged his hand. "Come on, Mike, you need to do your speaking exercises."

"Aw, do I have to?" he whined, and again a smile appeared on Stacy's lips. He sounded exactly like Greg then.

"Yes, you do." The nanny said in no-nonsense voice.

"Why?" he whined again but walked with her willingly.

"Because your Mother says so, and your 'r' is non-existent…"

"Wiww thewe be ice-cweam latew?" he asked hopefully.

"See, you sound horrible." she said laughingly.

"Do not!"

"Do too."

"Not!"

"Alright, alright, It's not _that_ bad." she said, messing his hair.

"Hey! " he said flattening his curly hair, then asked once more hopefully. "Ice-cweam?"

"We'll see, what I can do." The Nanny said, not promising anything. They disappeared behind the elevators door, Mikey waving toward Stacy one more time. He just shook her head. This kid sure was a piece of work

Her mobile phone rang, and she hastened to answer it.

"Yes?"

"…"

"Oh, You're here?"

"…"

"I'll be there in a moment."

He closed connection and looked at her watch. The twenty minutes passed without her even noticing it. She gathered the films and her purse and headed to the entrance of the hospital. Brenda the Nurse passed her on her way out, and their eyes connected for a brief moment. Stacy smiled slightly at her. Brenda's face was passive, then she nodded, heading to her destination.

Stacy just shook her head. She wasn't exactly sure but she felt _approved_ _of_. It was a silly feeling, yet so accurate. She never suspected Greg and Lisa could invoke such a protective feeling in anyone, yet during the past few hours she was confronted with a couple of people proving her otherwise.

She walked out of the hospital, thinking about all that she had learned today. She recalled the small touches Greg and Lisa exchanged, how he was giving her support and comfort, when she needed it. Then he remembered Mikey. His happy face, the curious, ever observant eyes, that noticed everything. She thought about Wilson and his resolve to protect them from anything at all costs. She recalled Lisa's tension and insecurity, when the two of them met for the first time this morning. Finally, she thought about the first time she saw the family.

With a wonder, she realized what she had missed earlier, being still in shock after discovering the changes in Greg's life. It occurred to her how Mikey took immediately all of Greg's attention just the moment he appeared… how Lisa perfectly fitted into the picture when she showed up… how the two adult shared a brief moment until their whole focus was fixed on their child… yes, she could see the closeness, coziness, _contentment_ of their happy life.

She felt a sudden pang of longing in her heart. It wasn't the kind of longing when someone experienced missing someone, wanting to be in someone's else shoes. No, Stacy did not want to be in Lisa's place. Not after this day. Somehow she knew deep inside that it would never be this way had she stayed with Greg those five years ago. No… she did the right thing back then. Both of them would be miserable. But now he's happy. And Lisa was happy.

And she- she just wanted to have what Greg and Lisa shared. She left Greg, hoping she would find it, yet somehow she hadn't.

_You can't always get what you want… _crossed her mind. It was a line from one of Greg's favorite songs. She never was much into music, but those lyrics suddenly felt so accurate to her situation. They seemed to describe her life. A hollow feeling entered her heart.

Mark was leaning against their car, waiting for her. He straightened seeing her and walked toward her. She tried to smile, but her face felt stiff. She couldn't look back at him. She didn't want him to read her, this sudden unhappiness that could probably be seen in her eyes.

"Hey." He said leaning, and kissing her cheek. She did all in her power to not flinch, yet when his lips touched her skin, they left a tingling sensation she hardly ever noticed but today it was more prominent then ever. Mark took the films from her, asking. "Did you see your friend?"

"Yeah, she got married." She said, feeling slightly guilty for lying to him about the true reason of her visit. She'll explain it to him at home. Hopefully he'll agree to do the check up.

"Did she? Is she happy?" he asked curiously as they entered the car.

"Very." She said laconically, looking through her window.

"You ok?" he asked putting a hand on her arm. She looked back at him surprised, not expecting hi touch. She locked her eyes with his involuntary. Her cheek still tingled, her arm felt warm under his touch and the pure concern mixed with love in his eyes brought tears to her eyes. She had a flashback to that little comfort scene of Greg and Lisa she had witnessed minutes before. Somehow the longing in her heart lessened when her eyes locked with Mark's. he didn't felt alone suddenly.

"Yeah, I'm fine." She smiled, more genuinely now. "Just tired."

"Oh, alright." He said starting the car. "I got the movie you wanted to see." He said watching the parking lot a he maneuvered. "What do you say about ordering Chinese for dinner?"

She looked back at him amazed. "You hate Chinese." _She_ loved it.

He smiled widely at her. "But you don't."

She smiled at him sincerely this time. Her heart lightening at his happy, caring face. _…but if you try sometime, you may find, you'll get what you need…_ It was the other part of that song and she smiled wistfully at this quote. Maybe she didn't get what she wanted, but she definitively got what she needed. She just had to try more to see and appreciate that.

She looked at Mark once more. Yes… she could be happy like Greg and Lisa. She _will_. She'll make sure of it.

xxx

End of last part.

xxx

_Feedback is nice. __XD_


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